Love. What is it?

What is love? Some would say love is caring deeply about someone. Others might say, putting the needs, desires and wants of others above your own is really what love means. What if love is attention? Then we have to ask, what is attention?

The American Heritage Dictionary defines it this way:

  1. The act of close or careful observing or listening.
  2. The ability or power to keep the mind on something; the ability to concentrate.
  3. Notice or observation.

Sounds a lot like the way we think of love doesn’t it? What if we took this idea and applied it to the enneagram types and their specific needs? Many of the types are gifted naturally at these skills of careful observing, listening, concentrating on what or who is in front of them. If this isn’t in your natural skill set, these are actually things you can get better at.

Since everyone desires attention and careful observation in different ways, I have written a love letter to each enneagram type expressing what they specifically would like to hear. What better way to let someone know how much you care than by giving them a love letter?

Right now you can grab the bundle!

This includes love letters to ALL 9 types! And at the special price of only $25

Love. What is it?

Click the image above or the button below to get your love letter bundle:

Remember to give those around you the care and attention they deserve… it really does show the love they crave. Find out what message they need to hear from you. Spend time this week expressing your love in all the ways you can!

Positivity really can change the world! It truly has a ripple affect!

Thanks for reading, and keep on living life inspired.

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Love Letters to the Enneagram Types 6 & 7

Love Letters to the Enneagram Types 6 & 7

Are you anticipating a lovely, Big, extravagant Valentines Day next week? Or maybe you prefer simple plans with a night in. Either way, there is no better gift than a love letter! Isn’t that what we all want to hear any ways? We want to know that we are loved, and it doesn’t hurt to have it in writing!

Please enjoy today’s love letters dedicated to types 6 and 7!

Love Letters to the Enneagram Types

If you would like to grab a copy of this love letter click the button below:

Love Letters to the Enneagram Types 6 & 7

Want to grab your own copy of this love letter? Click the button below:

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Enneagram Love Letters

Types Three, Four, and Five

I am continuing the Love Letter Series this week, dedicating a love letter to each enneagram number. What better gift, than the expression of love through words?

Please enjoy today’s enneagram love letters to types three, four, and Five!

Want a download of this love letter? Grab it here:

Want to download this love letter? Grab it here:

Grab a download PDF of this love letter to type 5 here:

I hope you have enjoyed these love letters to types, 3, 4, and 5! Share them, print them, read them aloud!

Live an inspired life!

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Enneagram type 4 and Fictional Characters

The thing about enneagram type fours that is most noticeable is their intensity. Whether up or down, type fours aren’t afraid to embrace the emotion they are in. Let’s take a look at the enneagram type 4 and fictional characters.

Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables)

Enneagram type 4 and fictional characters

Talk about intensity… Anne Shirley is the Queen of ups and downs. She is famous for her dramatic responses. Remember how she must have puffed sleeves? She focuses on this as a life or death need. She also uses phrases like, “I’m in the pit of despair!” and names every tree and special place in Green Gables, in awe of the beauty in her surroundings.

Type four is also known for their tendency to compare themselves to others and count themselves short. Anne is always wishing she had any color of hair, but the red locks she has. “If only…” then I would be happy. “How would it feel to have beautiful raven locks?”

Fours go deep fast. Almost instantly, Anne decides that she and Diana will be bosom buddies, best friends forever. Type four hates the mundane and shallow, they long for depth of meaning and express this openly, as Anne does constantly.

Marilla is often scolding Anne for neglecting her chores, instead finding her singing a sonnet or reciting a poem. Playing pretend is one of Anne’s favorite things to do. This lets her escape the boring reality of her situation. Often times, she finds herself in her imagination, a safe and beautiful place to be when the world outside has rejected and scorned her.

Luna Lovegood

Enneagram Type 4 and Fictional Characters

What’s not to love? Luna Lovegood from the Harry Potter Series, shows us the mystical side of fours. She loves to believe in the strange and magical. Even for the magical world, she edges on the bizarre and non-typical.

She is open to others opinions, and values everyone as equal. This is a beautiful and disarming feature of four. They are open-hearted and accepting, making others feel loved and brought in easily.

Luna often seems like she is living in her imagination, daydreaming and almost floating along. She also understands the darker side of life and is not afraid of it. Only people who have seen death in their lives can see the Thestrals (the skeleton-horses that pull the carriages to Hogwarts). Both Harry and Luna can see them. Everyone else thinks the carriages simply pull themselves.

Luna really takes this in stride, allowing the deep emotion to linger and even sharing it with Harry.

Marianne Dashwood (Sense and Sensibility)

Enneagram type 4 and fictional characters

You have probably heard a type four referred to as, “The Romantic Individualist.” This title fits Marianne Dashwood through and through. She would never settle for someone down to earth, and boring! (or would she)?

Type fours, like Marianne, are also known for their idealistic nature. They have high hopes and dreams for a perfect world, or partner, or lifestyle. Fours love to daydream and get lost in these notions of finding their perfect… whatever it may be.

As we see with Marianne, what looks like an exciting romantic partner, may not be what actually compliments type 4. She finds a harmonious partner in the unexpected, ordinary Colonel Brandon. When she overlooks him in the beginning, it is mostly because he is not her romantic ideal. She hasn’t imagined herself with someone so “boring.” But we see that he adds the balance to her dramatics that she so desperately needs.

We also see Marianne’s “four-ness” affect her sister Eleanor’s life. Marianne just can’t understand how Eleanor can be so emotionless about the man she loves. In her eyes, Eleanor needs to speak up about her feelings for Edward, or risk losing him.

Marianne also shows the hot and cold of the type four well. When things are going well for her, she is singing and dancing and the most joyous woman who ever lived. When she is faced with disappointment, her pit of despair is so deep she can barely crawl out of it.

Thanks for taking a look at this intuitive, sensitive, and passionate enneagram type 4 through these fictional characters with me!

I hope you enjoyed it!

To learn more about type four check out the links below:

Want to download this enneagram type 4 overview?

enneagram type 4 and fictional characters

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Is Your Enneagram Passion Controlling you?

You might not know it, but deep in your core you have a passion that drives all other things in your life. You may even think you have control over it. But I’ve got news for you, this passion will be your life’s struggle. Today I want to talk about the passion of the enneagram types and why our inner passion has control over us.

Do you know what your passion is?

Let’s start there. Passion is usually associated with drive and positive asperations. This is not what we are talking about here. The passions of the enneagram types are more like a vice. That thing which causes us to repeat downward spirals and negative patterns of behavior.

Your passion is your subconscious, underlying motivation for why and even how you do everything. Most likely, you are unaware of it until you really start doing work on yourself.

This is the part of learning the enneagram that makes us a bit uncomfortable because seeing our “dark side,” not only makes us feel vulnerable, but also a bit embarrassed.

However, seeing this side of the types will help you identify your type if you were struggling before. It’s like direct honesty cutting through all the fluff and revealing your deepest darkest secret.

Take a look at the passions below. Does yours make you want to run and hide, or disown it altogether? Most people have that reaction.

The passions of the 9 types

Type 1: Anger

Type 2: Pride

Type 3: Deceit

Type 4: Envy

Type 5: Avarice

Type 6: Fear

Type 7: gluttony

Type 8: Lust

Type 9: Sloth

enneagram passions

Virtues

We can’t talk about passions without also talking about virtues. I like to think of the virtue as what each type was before the world told them who they should be. Before the patterns were learned, the defense mechanisms, the baggage, or lack of boundaries given, each type would have looked like their virtue.

The way it is though, we have to work hard to reach our virtues. They are there buried inside us somewhere, but they aren’t always easy to dig up and it takes boundless effort. The goal in learning the enneagram is to turn from passion to virtue a little here and a little there. With Intentional awareness, beginning to notice you have it in you to silence one and step forward in to another.

Most of us will see our virtue come out when life is good and we are doing well. We move into our strength number on the enneagram, which is usually where the virtue can shine easily.

For example: When a type one moves to the high side of seven, they have let go of perfecting things, they feel calm and content, some might even say serene.

Take a look at the virtues below, they will have the opposite affect of reading your passion. Can you just imagine a world where everyone reached this full potential… the best version of themselves? Think of being surrounded by these powerful words- all such gifts and forces of good.

So what are the virtues?

Type 1: Serenity

Type 2: Humility

Type 3: Honesty

Type 4:Contentment

Type 5: Generosity

Type 6: Courage

Type 7: Sobriety

Type 8: Innocence

Type 9: Action

passions of the 9 types

I hope you enjoyed reading about the 9 types and the passions and virtues. It is so fascinating to me!

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Each page includes the basics on everything for each type.

Here’s what they look like:

Behind the Scenes of Enneagram Type 9

Enneagram type nines are known as “The Peacemakers.” This type doesn’t like to rock the boat, and avoids conflict at all costs. But what else do we know about nines? Today we are going behind the scenes of enneagram type 9 to discover more about them.

The Gut Triad

Let’s start with the triad nine falls into. Type nine is in the “Gut Triad,” along with types one and eight. Each type in this triad deals with anger/ gut reactions, but in very different ways. The type nine is asleep to their anger which causes it to seep out passive aggressively. Since they avoid conflict, they don’t want to openly say when something is bothering them. This could cause a loss of connection or disruption in a relationship (which is one of type nine’s worst fears).

Nines allow themselves to float along, agreeing with whomever they are with. This in enneagram language, is known as, “merging.” If a nine is very unaware and hasn’t done any inner work, they may not know their own opinions of things. They can spend too long agreeing with everyone else’s ideas that they fail to discover their own.

The Withdrawn Stance

Numbers in the withdrawn stance, have an orientation to time towards the past. They are neither future looking, or present, but always looking back.

You’ve heard of the law of inertia:

An object at rest tends to stay at rest, whereas an object in motion tends to stay in motion.

Isaac Newton

Those in the withdrawn stance tend to stay at rest. They have a hard time actually getting going and moving into getting things done. This is called “Doing Repressed.”

For the type nine, they might look busy doing, but their doing is usually to avoid what actually needs done. For example, they might really need to call their mom, but instead of calling their mom, they notice that the fridge needs cleaned out. They will spend hours cleaning the fridge (a very productive looking thing to do) but this is an avoidance tactic. Doing repressed comes down to unproductive doing.

This repressed doing center causes nines to procrastinate until the very last second. If a nine doesn’t want to do something, they can really dig their heels in. They have a surprising stubbornness about them.

The Type Nine Superpower

One of the most amazing things about nines, is that they have a little piece of every type on the enneagram. This allows them to see everyone’s perspective and makes them incredible mediators. They are the only type that can understand all the other types so well.

Nines naturally want everyone to get along. If they are aware, they can use this passion to connect people. They are also eager to give of themselves, and sacrifice their wants and needs for others. As with all, “superpowers,” they can be a blessing or a curse. If nines aren’t careful, they will end up merging too often and sacrificing too much.

Being around a type nine is the easiest. They require little from you, and make great friends. Nines are extremely laid back (so laid back, they might take a nap)!

Behind the Scenes of Enneagram Type 9

What Type 9 needs from us

Ask their opinion. Since nines tend to merge easily, it is important to ask them what they think, or you might never find out. They won’t speak up, or share an opinion that is different from yours easily. Asking them is an honoring thing to do and will make them feel loved.

Ease into conflict situations. We all know that conflict has to happen sometimes. Since this is so devastating for a type nine, help them walk through it as best you can. Reassure them that the relationship will be even stronger on the other side of the conflict.

Don’t pressure them. Pressuring a type nine can cause them to dig their heels in even more. They can be indecisive and slow to get moving, but trying to hurry them along will only make it worse. Be patient with them.

We love all those enneagram type nines… helping connect the world!

Thanks for reading!

Want to grab this overview of type 9 below? Click here.

Check out this cute candle! Perfect for any type 9!

Want to explore the enneagram with a group? use this video course below.

Behind the Scenes of Enneagram Type 8

Enneagram type eight is known for their boldness, powerful presence, and “get it done,” attitude. But there is much more to these “challengers,” as they are sometimes called. Let’s go behind the scenes of enneagram type 8 to find out what they are really all about.

The Aggressive Stance

It’s no surprise that the type eight is in the aggressive stance. They are outwardly aggressive and express their thoughts and opinions openly. This type is not afraid of a fight, in fact they crave the intimacy and intensity a conflict can create.

The aggressive stance also reveals the dominant and repressed intelligence centers of type eight. Because they are in the aggressive stance, eights are doing dominant, and feelings repressed. The thinking center falls in-between, supporting their doing center.

Since the doing center is dominant for eights, this means they act first without considering feelings or thinking about what repercussions their actions may cause. Thinking happens after the action has been done. Feelings are last for type eight.

Being feelings repressed, makes it hardest for type eights to be empathetic. They say what they think, do what they want, and really don’t care about your feelings. They also don’t care what other people think about them, and don’t waste time worrying about feelings in general.

Types in the aggressive stance are also future focused. For type eight, this looks like pushing their goals and powering through obstacles. This forward focus also enhances their need to repress feelings and protect themselves from vulnerability (their worst fear).

Behind the Scenes of Enneagram Type 8

The Anger Triad

Eights are in the anger triad, also known as the “gut triad,” meaning they react quickly and with gut instincts. They know what they want, and usually the most efficient way to get it. Because they bypass feelings, they can be cutthroat, and offensive without meaning to be.

Eights are close to their anger. They express it outwardly and don’t hold back. The other numbers in this triad express anger in a less obvious ways. The type eight lives up to its name as “The challenger,” and definitely walks boldly into every situation.

This kind of confidence and honesty makes the type eight intimidating to most. They are also natural leaders and known for protecting the underdog, as well as those they love. Type eights at their best use their domineering personality for good, helping others and impacting the world.

Behind the Scenes of Enneagram Type 8

Why we love type 8

No one will tell you the truth like an eight. Though their honesty may hurt at times, you can be confident in always knowing where you stand with them. Their communication style is direct, succinct, and full of clarity and conviction.

When they are in your corner, you can’t lose. It is like having a superhero stand behind you and lift you up! They will fight for you, stand up for you, sometimes even fight the battles in your honor if need be. They have a sweet nurturing side for those they love, and the protection of a Mama bear.

The intensity of type eight is admirable. They work tirelessly for what they need to in a practical and passionate way. Eights have a willingness to act and do hard things without giving up.

When the timing is right, eights even know how to loosen up and have a little fun. We love seeing this side of them!

What Does Type Eight Need From Us?

Eights respect people that standup for themselves and radiate confidence. They also appreciate clear, concise communication. Since they don’t beat around the bush, they don’t want you to either. They also don’t want to waste time guessing, or playing games.

Eights don’t care for flattery, but desire honest appreciation of the many things they do. Acknowledge the contributions they make and the hard work they do to make your life better.

Become a safe, trustworthy space for your type eight to feel supported in. Typically eights build walls of protection around anything that feels like vulnerability and need a comfortable place to put some of that. They do have a hidden softer side.

Grab This Type Eight Printable Here!

Behind the scenes of Enneagram type 8

This overview is available here.

Check out this awesome type 8 candle! Get it here.

3 Secrets to Stop Falling into Your Old Habits

We all have patterns that we keep repeating, good and bad. What happens when you can’t seem to stop falling into your old bad habits? These cycles turn destructive and make you feel out of control. Today, let’s talk about 3 secrets to stop falling into your old habits. It can be done with the help of my favorite tool, the enneagram.

Self-Reflection and Awareness

First, you need to identify what your pattern is. This takes the secret of self reflection and developing awareness. What is real self-reflection? Being honest about what is really going on. Watching yourself and your behaviors.

When you want to change anything in your life, or reach a goal of any kind, you have to begin by knowing where you are.

This kind of brutal honesty with yourself is the beginning of healing and growth. Each enneagram type has specific destructive cycles that repeat, when left unchecked. After self-reflection, you naturally become more aware. You will notice, “oh, I’m doing that thing again.” This simple observation- the pause before the reaction, is a powerful tool to adopt.

3 secrets to Stop Falling into Your Old Habits

What are some enneagram habits you might fall into?

Type one might catch themselves overly perfecting things, and criticizing themselves when things aren’t good enough.

Twos might continually forget boundaries and help, when help is not what is needed most.

Three might forget to take off their mask and engage in real relationship.

Type four might continually compare themselves to others and spiral into a downward cycle of feeling somethings is missing from their own lives.

Fives pattern of keeping their needs to themselves and their “fences” high, inhibits growth in relationships.

Sixes might continually doubt themselves and struggle with trusting their decisions.

Sevens might miss out on the moment, while impulsively moving on to the next most exciting thing.

Eights might trample over people in their boldness in effort to hide their vulnerability.

Nines might fall into patterns of merging too often with the desires and opinions of others, and become passive aggressive.

(want to learn more about the nine enneagram types? check out this post.

Pause and Pivot

The great news is, that once you’re aware of your patterns, you can move into new ones. This brings us to our second secret to stop falling into your old bad habits, which I like to call, the pivot. You see the thing you would normally do about to happen, but instead of doing it, you pause and you pivot. This small move is what will change your life when repeated regularly.

Viktor Frankl put it this way:

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

I know we are not taking advantage of the space often enough. Pausing is an art lost to the modern world. We feel out of control because we are not using our power to choose our responses. We are simply moving through life on autopilot. But that is no way to live.

Every enneagram type falls into these issues one way or another. This is why the secrets to stop falling into our bad habits are universal. As we’ve discussed already, First we must self-reflect and awaken to our own realities. Then, embrace our power to choose our own responses through pivoting from old patterns.

3 ways to stop falling into your old bad habits

Notice the good and repeat.

Lastly, notice the good and repeat. It is so important to recognize our successes no matter how small. Neuro-pathways are created in the brain when you repeatedly think the same thought over and over. Wow… I hope you are thinking good thoughts! I hope you are feeding that power with good.

Just imagine yourself going through the process of these secrets throughout your day. Observing your behaviors. Being honest with yourself. Pausing in the space before reacting and choosing to pivot to a new response. Then, realizing that you made the better choice. Doesn’t that feel good? Feed your brain, body, and soul with all that goodness! I promise it will make you smile!

You will begin to feel un-stuck, in control, and free!

Don’t you deserve that for yourself?

I know you do.

I hope you will put these words into practice and move in the world inspired.