Tag Archives: relationships and the enneagram

Have you ever thought about what goes into making a decision? It happens automatically. We make thousands of decisions everyday, without giving much thought to the process. Did you know that even how you make decisions is based on your enneagram type? Let’s dive in to the realm of decision making, and why we decide the way we do.

Firstly, it’s important to know what the word “decide” really means.

The word, decide, basically means, “to kill off.”

Does this surprise you?

Let’s go deeper. The first part of the word (or the prefix) “de,” simply means “off.” But the other part of the word, “cide,” is found in words like: homicide, suicide, and genocide, and means “to cut,” or “kill.” So together we come up with a succinct definition: “to kill off.”

Does this definition ring true for you and your experience of deciding? Do you think about decisions as killing off all the other options, and moving forward in the direction you have chosen?

Whether you think of it this way or not, this is actually what is happening when you decide something. When you say “yes” to one thing, it means you are saying “no” to something else. You are “cutting off” other opportunities in order to give your, “yes.” This is the cost of making a decision.

Now how does the enneagram come into play with decision making?

Our decisions are closely related with our key motivations and how we process information. Each enneagram type will subconsciously follow a pattern of decision making based on these two components. If you are looking to improve your decision making habits, this is a great place to start. By being aware of our patterns, we can then decide to change them. So how do you make decisions based on your enneagram type?

Enneagram Type 1

When it comes to decision making for ones, they want to make the right choice. This is the key motivation behind almost every decision that a type one makes. They are usually pretty quick decision makers, and know instinctively what the right choice is, based on their own set of personal standards and systems they have set up for themselves.

However, they can get into trouble with how they process information. Ones are primarily anchored to the present, and also have a repressed thinking intelligence center. This means that ones can get stuck in their head, over-thinking, or over-criticizing themselves and the decision.

Enneagram Type 2

Twos are greatly motivated by how received they are by others. This impacts their decision making because they want to please the people around them, as well as receive their love and approval. They make most decisions based on the perceived needs of others, and rarely consider their own wants or desires.

This self-neglect gets them into trouble. They might even end up resenting others for not reciprocating care.

Enneagram Type 3

Threes are motivated by success, or even the appearance of success. This influences their decision making by what they allow, and do t allow. They are also extremely driven, and value efficiency, which adds another element into decisions.

If the decision reflects well on them, helps them achieve their goals, and can be done effectively – it is a definite yes for threes.

They get into trouble when decisions become more about pretense, than authenticity. Deception can look grey to threes, as long as they are getting the results they want, they may be unaware at what cost.

Enneagram Type 4

Fours are motivated by deep longings to be significant. This colors their decisions through self-expression, as well as how they show up in the world. Fours would never want to appear fake or phony. Their decisions center around their truth and their own identities.

However, fours get stuck in the decision making process of actually moving forward. Since fours are anchored to the past (being in the withdrawn stance) they have trouble moving into action. Fours are “doing repressed.” They are great about dreaming up fanciful ideas, and beautiful plans, but sometimes the follow through just isn’t there.

Enneagram Type 5

Fives are motivated by a desire to be capable, as well as to gain knowledge. Their decision making process involves extensive research, as well as logically processing, and thinking through how well they can prepare. Fives are usually steady decision makers who don’t take risks. They are measured, and weigh out possible outcomes.

Similarly to type fours, fives are in the withdrawn stance and sometimes struggle with taking a plan into action. They love the research part of decision making, and may spend all their time dedicated to learning more and more about the current topic. Fives are not quick decision makers, and need time to process feelings and facts around the decision.

Enneagram Type 6

Sixes are motivated by security and safety. They are also concerned with what is best for the whole group. These motivations are at the core of how sixes make decisions. Will it be safe? Will everyone benefit from the decision? Sixes want to make sure their decisions will be supported, as well as connecting in a relational way.

However, sixes get stuck in over-thinking and anxiety when it comes to making a decision. They doubt themselves, and their own instincts toward making the right decision. They will often seek guidance outside themselves before making a decision, asking a trusted friend, or looking up answers from other trusted sources.

Enneagram Type 7

Sevens are motivated by satisfaction, and enjoyment. They are usually up for anything and always want to be included. When it comes to decision making, their first instinct is, “yes, let’s do it!” They might over-extend themselves, by agreeing to do everything. They are quick decision makers, and clever enough to sometimes make this work for them.

However, sevens may experience burnout easily by taking on too much and doing too much. They need to carefully consider what they are saying yes to. Being in the aggressive stance, sevens are very action oriented, but also feelings repressed. It’s important to slow down, and consider the feelings around decisions.

Enneagram Type 8

Eights are motivated by not being controlled, and by justice. They are quick decision makers, and know instinctively what needs done, and they do it. This type has confidence in their decision making skills and has no trouble telling others what the decision is. It is easy for them to see clearly, without a lot of time needed for discussion, or planning.

However, eights sometimes bulldoze over others in their quick powerful decisions. They are also in the aggressive stance, meaning they take in the world through instincts/ the body, and support their decisions with thinking; completely skipping over feelings. Some of their decision making also occurs as a result of them not wanting to be controlled.

Enneagram Type 9

Nines are motivated by inner and outer peace. They might have the hardest time with the decision making process. Nines often “merge” with those around them, agreeing to what everyone else wants in order to keep the peace. They also have a hard time prioritizing actions. All tasks and decision can look of equal importance to a type nine.

Nines are in the withdrawn stance, which looks like distraction for them. Instead of doing the important task, or making that important decision, a type nine might keep busy doing other things instead of those main tasks. This shows their tendency toward being “doing repressed,” and greatly affects their decision making. A reminder app, or special “to do” planner can be helpful for nines.

Wasn’t that fun? I hope you enjoyed learning about how each enneagram type handles the decision making process. We are all so different! Isn’t it fascinating?

Want to know more about each enneagram type?

Check out the 9 types enneagram packet.

This packet includes a page for each enneagram type, covering all the basics to understand that type!

Bring the enneagram to your group! Start seeing better connections, more compassion for each other, and clear understanding.

The enneagram improves relationships of all kinds.

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