Tag Archives: how to find peace

In this series, we have been looking into each enneagram type and their patterns, motivations, and ultimately their chase that keeps them stuck. We all chase after what we think will give us love, acceptance, belonging, or what we think we need. Knowing your enneagram type will help you see the chase you are stuck in, and with practice derail the chase. Let’s look at types 7, 8, and 9 this week.

Enneagram Type 7

Type seven is chasing satisfaction and enjoyment. How can I have the most fun? At the same time, sevens are also avoiding pain and repress feelings. Their chase takes them from place to place, always seeking an experience of fulfillment while not going deep enough to feel uncomfortable or vulnerable.

Keeping things light and fun, means sevens have a lot of friends. They also have more experiences and stories than any other number, but this chase can rob type sevens of the depth they don’t even know they desire. While bouncing around from this fun thing to the next, they miss connecting deeply. They’ve moved on before allowing themselves to be seen.

These satisfaction seekers will never truly be satisfied if they stay on this chase. They are quick to re-frame things positively, which can be a great skill. However, sevens do this so quickly and seamlessly, it can feel like they are experiencing an alternate reality. Instead of feeling the pain of disappointment or heartbreak, they want to brush those feelings away seeing only a good side. But we need to disappointments to help us grow and heartbreak forms strength.

Tools to derail the chase for type 7

Be here now.

Sevens often thrive on anticipating future events so much so, that they forget to be in the present. Being in the moment will take conscious effort and practice for sevens, but will pay off.

Repeating the words “be here now,” as a sort of mantra, can help ground sevens to the moment they are in. When distractions come and ideas that are more exciting that what is going on in the present, repeat the mantra. It will mean so much to the people you are with to have your full attention and awareness.

This simple shift is a powerful tool in derailing your chase and bringing more meaning and satisfaction back to your life.

Develop a consistent creative outlet

Enneagram type seven probably has the biggest imagination of all the types. This means they need places they can use this massive idea factory stored in their brains. Using their creativity regularly helps sevens feel what they cannot express, stay grounded, and adds the satisfaction to life that they crave.

It will look different for each individual, of course. Some sevens may love music and play many instruments, others might be very artistic and enjoy drawing, painting and creating. The key here is to define a time and place for this creativity to come alive, and keep to it.

Maybe its every Sunday night in the garage… a set aside time and place for freedom (a type seven’s favorite word) and imagination to run wild.

Let yourself be seen

This might be the most challenging for type seven, who on the outside wants others to think of them as easy going and fun loving. But what about their deeper side? Beneath all that silly, happy-party person is a deep thinker. Someone with great and fantastical ideas, and someone afraid to get hurt.

You don’t have to let everyone see your deeper side, but choose one or two close friends who you can share everything with. They will help you develop your repressed feeling center by being a safe place for you to express yourself. This is vital for derailing your chase, and worth every painful minute of practice.

Enneagram Type 8

Type eight is chasing justice and independence. Eights are big power players. But more than wanting control, they just don’t want to be controlled. They highly value their independence, as well as protecting the people they love. Their chase becomes dangerous when they are willing to hurt others to remain in charge of their own destiny.

An eight’s boldness can allow them to be vengeful, self-centered, and intensely domineering. They see the world in black and white, right and wrong and will go after anyone challenging them. Under this warrior of a personality, lies a softer side, hidden and protected from possible betrayal (an eights biggest fear).

Tools to Derail the Chase for Type 8

Put the Defenses Down

Since eights have a stance of deflecting and being on the defense, it is hard to break through. Many times, all that is needed is a deep breath and a reality check. Some questions to ask yourself:

What do I know for sure?

Is it possible I am in the wrong?

Have my words or actions been hurtful?

Eights think and act so quickly that they can miss what is happening in the moment. Often times, they have moved on without taking time for valuable reflection. A simple pause and check in time, can be very helpful for type eight.

Putting the defenses down will allow for awareness and growth. New perspective can be enlightening for eights who are used to seeing things only one way.

Let Others In

Eights fear being betrayed, and rarely take the risk of deep relationship. It is important for eights to have one or two people with whom they can show their deepest parts. Being vulnerable with these few people will allow that softness to develop and stop the chase of protection in its tracks.

Choose a time once a week to share personal things with your person. This gives you accountability to stick to this development that is needed to derail your chase. Maybe you meet for coffee and answer these questions:

What has made me feel out of control this week?

What has made me feel loved?

Was there a moment when I noticed myself saying or doing something that unintentionally hurt someone this week?

These sample questions are a good place to start to give you something tangible to work with. Bringing up feelings and being aware of the way your dominance affects others are huge steps of growth. This is the beginning, and the person you choose to come along on the journey with you wants to support you and walk along side you as you grow.

Enneagram Type 9

Nines are chasing peace. This peace they seek is both inner peace and outer peace. Their chase often looks like avoiding conflict in an effort to protect their peace, or find it.

Like the other types, this seems like a good goal on the surface. Who couldn’t use more peace? But the danger of the type nine’s chase is the constant need for no conflict. They will avoid doing things, and spending time with people altogether to keep conflict at bay and remain in peace.

Their chase can also look like not engaging in life. Hard conversations and tasks will get put off. They’ll do that later. Involving themselves might jeopardize the peace status… so its better just to let things go.

Nines also shut down how they really feel in honor of perceived peace. They become people pleasers, agreeing to do whatever is asked of them. They want to please who they are with and go along with the plan, but may have no intention of actually doing it.

Tools to Derail the Chase for Type 9

The Conflict Bridge

I like this word picture of thinking of conflict like a bridge for nines. The bridge is the place where the hard thing has to happen, but once you cross it there is beauty on the other side. Nines tend to want to stay on the safe side for as long as possible, but in this case… the grass really can be greener on the other side.

Embracing conflict may be the hardest thing you ever do. Remind yourself that you can do it. You can cross that bridge, and you will be happy you did. Think of what beauty lies on the other side, that should be your focus. All you have to do is walk over there.

When this is realized, big doors begin to open for type nine. It won’t be easy, but positive self-talk can keep nines moving in the right direction. Remind yourself that you have handled conflict before, and that you can do it again. The peace you want is on the other side of the bridge.

What do you want?

Nines often get lost merging with those around them and don’t take the time and energy to figure out what they actually want. Getting out of this cycle is a tough one, but it begins by awareness.

Notice when you are agreeing because its easier to merge than voice your opinion. Ask yourself, what do I want? What is my opinion? This practice will help you get a handle on how much you follow the wants and desires of others, and give you a starting place to find your own voice.

The next step, is saying how you feel and stating what you believe. Sometimes that will mean saying, no. Other times that will mean you have to cross that bridge of conflict to be heard and to resolve a differing opinion. You are worth it. What you have to say matters and your beliefs deserve to be heard.

Want an overview of all nine types?

As always, Thank you for reading! I hope you have enjoyed this series of each enneagram type and their chase and some tools to derail those chases!

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