Enneagram type 3 and fictional characters

Enneagram type 3 is fairly easy to spot in fictional characters because they are openly image conscious and extremely charming. They become whoever they need to be for the person, or people they are with. Threes love flattery, adoration, and attention. Their “crime of passion,” is deceit, lying to get what they want seems a small price to pay for threes: kings of rationalizing. Let’s talk about enneagram type 3 and fictional characters.

Scarlet O’hara

Our first example, Scarlet O’hara, is a perfect example of an enneagram type 3 fictional character. The belle of the south, she charms her way into the heart of many. She doesn’t mind that she also breaks hearts wherever she goes, as long as she gets what she wants in the end.

“Image conscious much, Miss Scarlet?” She takes the part of looking like the belle of the south seriously. Even when she has no money to dress herself properly, she enlists her servant to make her a gown out of the drapery so she won’t appear poor.

Her deceitfulness and charm do get Scarlet pretty far, but she is no match for Rhett Butler (who might also be considered a type 3). He sees right through her games, and falls in love with who she really is underneath.

It is hard for the type 3 to let go of the mask and stop performing. They believe to earn love, they must put on a show. They are only as good as their acheivements in their minds.

Scarlet does achieve! When she is left destitute on her plantation with no one, she makes sure there is food to eat, and begins to plan for the future, as threes can’t help but look forward. She has the, “failure is not an option” attitude of the type 3, and intends on winning in every aspect of her life.

Gilderoy Lockhart (from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

The enneagram and fictional characters

Gilderoy Lockhart moves his career ahead through literally stealing the successful stories of brave wizards, performing a forgetting charm on them, and claiming their success as his own. Only a type three could smear the paths of right and wrong without a backward glance. Not only does he move ahead in life on this horrible deceit, but her wants to look good while doing it.

He is constantly concerned with his appearance and making sure he gets in front of the camera whenever one is nearby. He also has photos of himself up on the walls literally everywhere. This shows his type 3 image consciousness, and selfishness.

Type 3 loves admiration and flattery. We see Lockhart enjoying long lines of people waiting for his autograph in his latest book, and signing piles of fan mail with his portrait. He truly loves the attention and adoration drawn by his super fans.

Mr. Wickham

The enneagram type 3 and fictional characters

Another great example of a type 3 in literature (or film), is Mr. Wickham from Pride and Prejudice. He is the dashing soldier, charming and attractive who easily steals the hearts of many. With a simple look he can change the emotions in the room. He is social and popular, easy to like on the surface.

When we are first introduced to Mr. Wickham, we believe him to be noble and worthy of Elizabeth Bennet, our heroine. But we soon learn that his stories were full of falsehoods, in attempt to make himself look good.

When his lies fail to work on Elizabeth, he using his charm to attach himself to her younger sister, creating a new mess for everyone involved. He fears failure and not living up to the standards that society and birth have set for him.

The tragedy here is that he hasn’t learned his own value and insists on masquerading through life as who he thinks others wish him to be. He is self-promoting, and pretentious, letting his higher qualities go to waste.

Rachel Green

In exploring the enneagram type 3 and fictional characters we find another example in Rachel Green from “Friends.”

The enneagram type 3 and fictional characters

If you have seen the T.V. show friends, it is easy to see that Rachel’s character displays many of the type 3 behaviors, qualities and motivations. She is well-liked, has been popular in every phase of her life, and uses her good looks and charm to get what she wants.

The series begins with her making her first move of growth when she leaves her own wedding to a man she doesn’t want to marry. She is leaving behind a life of wealth and “easy living,” for a life of struggle, but one she will make her own. This is the beginning of her awareness and growth arch as a character.

Seeing success as living the life she wants instead of living a life full of money and things, is a big turning point for Rachel. The rest of the series follows her trying a failing, and trying again in relationships, careers, and other obstacles.

One of the great things about type 3: they don’t give up.

I hope you enjoyed this take on a few popular characters, helping us to understand the type 3 a little better.

Are you a type 3? Do you know a type 3? Maybe you thought of a different fictional character who is a type 3… feel free to comment about it!

Here is a type 3 pdf printable you can grab by using the button below.

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Is Your Enneagram Passion Controlling you?

You might not know it, but deep in your core you have a passion that drives all other things in your life. You may even think you have control over it. But I’ve got news for you, this passion will be your life’s struggle. Today I want to talk about the passion of the enneagram types and why our inner passion has control over us.

Do you know what your passion is?

Let’s start there. Passion is usually associated with drive and positive asperations. This is not what we are talking about here. The passions of the enneagram types are more like a vice. That thing which causes us to repeat downward spirals and negative patterns of behavior.

Your passion is your subconscious, underlying motivation for why and even how you do everything. Most likely, you are unaware of it until you really start doing work on yourself.

This is the part of learning the enneagram that makes us a bit uncomfortable because seeing our “dark side,” not only makes us feel vulnerable, but also a bit embarrassed.

However, seeing this side of the types will help you identify your type if you were struggling before. It’s like direct honesty cutting through all the fluff and revealing your deepest darkest secret.

Take a look at the passions below. Does yours make you want to run and hide, or disown it altogether? Most people have that reaction.

The passions of the 9 types

Type 1: Anger

Type 2: Pride

Type 3: Deceit

Type 4: Envy

Type 5: Avarice

Type 6: Fear

Type 7: gluttony

Type 8: Lust

Type 9: Sloth

enneagram passions

Virtues

We can’t talk about passions without also talking about virtues. I like to think of the virtue as what each type was before the world told them who they should be. Before the patterns were learned, the defense mechanisms, the baggage, or lack of boundaries given, each type would have looked like their virtue.

The way it is though, we have to work hard to reach our virtues. They are there buried inside us somewhere, but they aren’t always easy to dig up and it takes boundless effort. The goal in learning the enneagram is to turn from passion to virtue a little here and a little there. With Intentional awareness, beginning to notice you have it in you to silence one and step forward in to another.

Most of us will see our virtue come out when life is good and we are doing well. We move into our strength number on the enneagram, which is usually where the virtue can shine easily.

For example: When a type one moves to the high side of seven, they have let go of perfecting things, they feel calm and content, some might even say serene.

Take a look at the virtues below, they will have the opposite affect of reading your passion. Can you just imagine a world where everyone reached this full potential… the best version of themselves? Think of being surrounded by these powerful words- all such gifts and forces of good.

So what are the virtues?

Type 1: Serenity

Type 2: Humility

Type 3: Honesty

Type 4:Contentment

Type 5: Generosity

Type 6: Courage

Type 7: Sobriety

Type 8: Innocence

Type 9: Action

passions of the 9 types

I hope you enjoyed reading about the 9 types and the passions and virtues. It is so fascinating to me!

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Want an overview packet of all 9 types?

Each page includes the basics on everything for each type.

Here’s what they look like:

Enneagram Type Two, and Fictional Characters

Do you ever watch a movie or read a book, and find yourself in the character? Sometimes we relate with fictional characters because they are dramatizing our patterns of behaviors and using the same motivations we would use. This is so helpful for identifying and working out your enneagram type and those of others as well. Today, let’s discuss enneagram type two, and fictional characters.

Twos can often be found as the supporting role in many fictional tales. This is probably because they are naturally helpful characters and fit well as the sidekick, or best friend sort. However, there are times when a Two gets a great lead role.

Emma

Jane Austen’s Emma, could be considered a type two. She is constantly concerned with the well-being of others, their feelings, and happiness. This motivates her to even try her hand at match-making several times. She is proud in thinking that she knows what is best for everyone else, and in turn neglects her own happiness and well-being.

A type two’s passion, or “deadly sin,” is pride. The kind of pride that Emma shows time and time again. It leans on the self-righteous side and takes a great deal to overcome.

Twos are always befriending people and taking care of them. Emma goes out of her way frequently to care for the people in her community that need the most help.

Enneagram Type 2 and fictional characters

Molly Weasley

Molly Weasley embodies the warmth and welcome of the type two. She makes Harry feel right at home and eagerly strives to meet all of his needs. She helps Harry find the platform and king cross station, which is only the beginning of her efforts to show her care through helping. Molly makes sure that Harry gets a hand knitted sweater on Christmas, just because he is a friend of her son, Ron!

This type 2 is is endlessly serving her busy family, and never thinking of herself. She knows where everyone is at any given time, and exactly what each person needs.

Peeta Mellark

Peeta’s devotion to Katniss is legendary. It is this quality that keeps him hoping, and keeps them both alive. He is also self-sacrificing, a known two quality. He thinks of her above himself, even from the beginning.

Peeta throws her the exact life-line she needs, at he moment she needs it, and saves her and her families lives by his simple generosity.

We see Peeta quite literally become “martyr-like” willing to die in place of Katniss. Few of us face death threats so literally and for a two their martyr like quality only shows up when they are in a bad place. When a two is stressed and down, they will take their self-righteousness to an unhealthy level.

What is most important to the type to is reciprocity. They want what’s due to them. If they have been there for you, they want you to be there for them. If they have sacrificed, they expect that same sacrifice.

Have you seen a little of yourself or someone you love in the type two characters?

Maybe you have thought of a few type two fictional characters that we could add to the list… Feel free to comment.

You might also like: 5 words each enneagram type needs to hear most

Below is a video course for beginners just learning the enneagram

Enneagram Type One, and Fictional Characters

Recognizing enneagram types may be hard to do in our everyday lives, but in the exaggerated world of fiction, the types begin to stand out. Enneagram type one is usually easy to spot in fictional characters through their overly perfectionistic behaviors, desire to improve their surroundings, and pull towards justice and righteousness. Today, we are going to dive into the enneagram type one and fictional characters.

Can you think of a few type ones out in the fictional world?

Let’s start with a classic, and one of my personal favorite type ones:

Mary Poppins.

Come on… She is “Practically perfect in every way!”

Enneagram Type One, and fictional Characters

The whole point of Mary Poppins is improvement, a key element for type one. She changes the lives of the Banks family with her structure and way of being in the world.

She is always “put together,” proper, and orderly. Though she may allow some whimsy, and flourish imagination, she has a love of rules and what “should be done.”

Thinking more about enneagram type one and fictional characters, who else stands out?

Hermione Granger

Harry Potter’s, Hermione Granger in the first book is labeled a “know it all,” and “rule follower.” She always seems to know not just the right answer to every question, but the right and moral thing to do in every situation. She is very concerned with justice, and even finds herself breaking some of the precious rules for the sake of just cause. (Saving Buckbeak from an unjust and untimely death, helping a wrongly accused convict escape being captured, performing spells in order to serve the greater good).

Hermione also “mother’s” Harry and Ron, not in a gushy nurturing way, but in a ONE way. She reminds them of homework assignments, school rules, and comments endlessly on more things they could do correctly. She truly wants the best for them, and this is the type one way to show it, “I want to help you be the best you can be… by reminding you how you can improve yourself.”

Let’s consider one more type on our journey of enneagram type one and fictional characters.

Claire Fraser

Enneagram Type One and Fictional Characters

Claire Fraser is an English army nurse who finds herself 200 years back in time in the middle of hard times. When she is captured by a Scottish man who rescues her from assault, she is brought back to his clan. One of the men is suffering from a dislocated shoulder. She can’t stand to let the other men put the man’s shoulder back, the wrong way. She interferes even though she’s in danger, and has never met any of them before.

Because Claire is a type one, she fights for what is right, even if it is only fixing someone’s arm. We see this constantly, especially with the dynamic of her extensive medical knowledge from the future. She brings order to disorder, morals where there were none, and an overall improvement to every situation she encounters.

She is a present thinker (putting her in type one’s dependent stance). When she is caring for you, she is with you, compassionate and not distracted. Her black and white thinking and decision making allow her to have huge impact in her situation.

Seeing fictional characters through the eyes of the enneagram helps us understand the type a little better. Though real people may be more complex than characters we read about, or see on film, it helps us to identify and form language around what a certain type might look like.

And let’s face it, sometimes its just easier to talk about fictional characters than ourselves. Maybe you relate with Hermione, or Mary Poppins, and you can understand why they made the choices they made because you are a type one, motivated by justice, truth, and making a difference.

Can you think of an enneagram type one who is a fictional character? Let’s talk about it!

The Enneagram and Fictional Characters

Now available… A Packet Overview of all the types! This packet below, includes the format seen above, but for all 9 types!

Check out the enneagram for beginners video course! This is great to do with groups!

Enneagram for beginners video course

5 Words Each Enneagram Number Needs to Hear Most

Each enneagram number is motivated differently and has a desire to hear certain things from the people that care about them. What if you knew 5 words that would be exactly the thing they need to hear? Today I am going to share with you 5 words each enneagram number needs to hear most.

Enneagram Type One

One’s care a lot about doing things right and doing them well. They want to make a difference in the world. This type is also strongly moral and highly ethical. So what does type one want to hear most?

“I see goodness in you.”

Enneagram Type Two

Two’s are friendly and helpful, but what they are really searching for is that friendship and love in return. They are deeply sensitive and dependent on others for their self-worth. What words do they need most?

“You’re loved no matter what.”

Enneagram Type Three

Three’s strive to succeed and achieve above all else. They are always performing and using their charm to get ahead. This power number feels they must earn love by doing. They need to hear these words…

“You are loved for you.”

5 words each enneagram number needs to hear most

Enneagram Type Four

Four’s are deeply emotional and expressive. They often feel misunderstood and out of place. Am I too much for you? They want to know. Fours don’t shy away from big feelings. What 5 words do they need to hear?

“I am here with you.”

Enneagram Type Five

Fives are extremely capable and responsible. They like figuring things out on their own and in their own space. It is easy for fives to forget that other people in their lives can help them. What do Fives need to hear?

“It’s okay to have needs.”

Enneagram Type Six

Sixes are often anxious, scanning the horizon for possible catastrophes and worst case scenarios. They feel unsettled when they don’t know what to expect or when their is no consistency in their lives. What 5 words do sixes need to hear most?

“Everything’s going to be okay.”

Enneagram Type Seven

Sevens don’t like being put in a “box,” or trapped. They love new opportunities, trying things they’ve never done before, and adventure that they get to plan themselves. This enthusiastic type longs for freedom. So what 5 words do sevens need to hear most?

“Let’s plan a trip together!”

5 words each enneagram type needs to hear most

Enneagram Type Eight

Eights are strong, confident, and a little rough around the edges. They highly value honesty and directness in communication. This type has a wall built up around their most vulnerable parts and only allows a cherished few inside. What do they need to hear most?

“I will never betray you.”

Enneagram Type Nine

Nines get lost in a crowd easily because they are happy to go along with anyone. They merge with whomever they are with, and often don’t stand up for themselves. Their self esteem suffers when they can’t articulate their own thoughts, feelings, and opinions. What 5 words do nines need to hear most?

“You’re presence matters to me.”

Knowing these simple phrases will help you understand each type because they cut right to the core desire for each one. I hope you will use them, contemplate on them, and be inspired by them.

Thanks for reading!

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Loving your community through the enneagram

Want a printable of the 5 words that each enneagram type needs to hear most? You can get it below:

Want to study the enneagram with your friends? This video course below is perfect for small groups!

Want a printable workbook to go through all the types together? This one below, covers all the basics!

50 page enneagram workbook

Behind the Scenes of Enneagram Type 9

Enneagram type nines are known as “The Peacemakers.” This type doesn’t like to rock the boat, and avoids conflict at all costs. But what else do we know about nines? Today we are going behind the scenes of enneagram type 9 to discover more about them.

The Gut Triad

Let’s start with the triad nine falls into. Type nine is in the “Gut Triad,” along with types one and eight. Each type in this triad deals with anger/ gut reactions, but in very different ways. The type nine is asleep to their anger which causes it to seep out passive aggressively. Since they avoid conflict, they don’t want to openly say when something is bothering them. This could cause a loss of connection or disruption in a relationship (which is one of type nine’s worst fears).

Nines allow themselves to float along, agreeing with whomever they are with. This in enneagram language, is known as, “merging.” If a nine is very unaware and hasn’t done any inner work, they may not know their own opinions of things. They can spend too long agreeing with everyone else’s ideas that they fail to discover their own.

The Withdrawn Stance

Numbers in the withdrawn stance, have an orientation to time towards the past. They are neither future looking, or present, but always looking back.

You’ve heard of the law of inertia:

An object at rest tends to stay at rest, whereas an object in motion tends to stay in motion.

Isaac Newton

Those in the withdrawn stance tend to stay at rest. They have a hard time actually getting going and moving into getting things done. This is called “Doing Repressed.”

For the type nine, they might look busy doing, but their doing is usually to avoid what actually needs done. For example, they might really need to call their mom, but instead of calling their mom, they notice that the fridge needs cleaned out. They will spend hours cleaning the fridge (a very productive looking thing to do) but this is an avoidance tactic. Doing repressed comes down to unproductive doing.

This repressed doing center causes nines to procrastinate until the very last second. If a nine doesn’t want to do something, they can really dig their heels in. They have a surprising stubbornness about them.

The Type Nine Superpower

One of the most amazing things about nines, is that they have a little piece of every type on the enneagram. This allows them to see everyone’s perspective and makes them incredible mediators. They are the only type that can understand all the other types so well.

Nines naturally want everyone to get along. If they are aware, they can use this passion to connect people. They are also eager to give of themselves, and sacrifice their wants and needs for others. As with all, “superpowers,” they can be a blessing or a curse. If nines aren’t careful, they will end up merging too often and sacrificing too much.

Being around a type nine is the easiest. They require little from you, and make great friends. Nines are extremely laid back (so laid back, they might take a nap)!

Behind the Scenes of Enneagram Type 9

What Type 9 needs from us

Ask their opinion. Since nines tend to merge easily, it is important to ask them what they think, or you might never find out. They won’t speak up, or share an opinion that is different from yours easily. Asking them is an honoring thing to do and will make them feel loved.

Ease into conflict situations. We all know that conflict has to happen sometimes. Since this is so devastating for a type nine, help them walk through it as best you can. Reassure them that the relationship will be even stronger on the other side of the conflict.

Don’t pressure them. Pressuring a type nine can cause them to dig their heels in even more. They can be indecisive and slow to get moving, but trying to hurry them along will only make it worse. Be patient with them.

We love all those enneagram type nines… helping connect the world!

Thanks for reading!

Want to grab this overview of type 9 below? Click here.

Check out this cute candle! Perfect for any type 9!

Want to explore the enneagram with a group? use this video course below.

Loving Your Community Through the Enneagram

Many years ago, in my first psychology class, I remember being amazed that we all think differently. It was a big awakening moment of understanding that the people around me, weren’t thinking the same thoughts as me, or doing things for the same reasons I was, or feeling the same things I was feeling. Today, I want to talk about these differences and how we can love our communities through the enneagram.

We all know how important is is to love others. But what does that mean? Does everyone need the same kind of love and want to be loved in the same way?

I think we all know the answer is, no.

So if we all need to be loved in different ways, how do we go about loving each other?

Who is your community?

In a broad sense of course, it is everyone around you in the place where you live. Loving all of these people would be hard to do in the deep intentional way we are going to discuss today. Kindness can always be shared to everyone, but I want to talk about real love. The people who will get the benefits of your love are going to be the people in your “inner circle,” the people you claim as your group, who you belong to and they belong to you. (Read more about why we need community to thrive, here).

Maybe its your family, maybe its your church group, or maybe its the people you gather with in a coffee shop every week. Whomever you include in your community, the first step in loving them well, is knowing them well.

This is where the enneagram becomes the most useful tool in your toolbox.

The enneagram first shows you how you see the world, and then shows you how other people see the world. When these two ways of seeing come together a lot can happen. Compassion grows for yourself, and others. This changes your relationships in only positive ways. You begin to understand why people do what they do, instead of simply reacting to what they do.

So how does loving your community through the enneagram work?

Learning the enneagram is going to help you understand yourself.

Beginning with yourself is always the best place to start. After all, you can only control your own actions, reaction, and decisions. When you learn the enneagram, you will begin to notice your patterns of both positive and negative motivations. You can practice pausing before you would normally make a negative reaction, or begin down a path you didn’t intend to go.

Once you have learned about yourself:

Your motivations, your core needs and desires, and your fears and patterns of disintegration…

It is your job to teach others about yourself. This knowledge is power. The people in your community want to love you well, but it is not intuitive. Understanding how to love people the way they need to be loved is a complicated matter. It takes time and intention to do this well. So, why not spell it out? Take some of the mystery out of this complicated life.

Once the people around you know your number, it’s time to start learning theirs. This is going to be an eye-opening experience. Dynamics will begin to make sense. You will start to understand why people do certain things, why they express themselves the way they do. The enneagram will show you exactly what each type needs.

Why learn the enneagram with a group?

This will only bring your group closer together. It may even help heal wounds, and provide a forward path for the future.

Self growth is accomplished best when supported by a group. This is a key opportunity for everyone to do together. (And it might even be fun)! Taking the time to learn about each other shows that you care deeply about one another too!

Grab this “Loving the 9 Types- The Cheat Sheet” below by clicking here, to help you understand a quick overview of how each type needs to be loved.

Loving Your Community Through The Enneagram

The discovery kit below is a great place to start your journey. It has information on all 9 types and is perfect for a group. Grab it here.

loving your community through the enneagram

Below you will find a beginners enneagram VIDEO course! This is a great tool for groups, and only takes 45 minutes to go through! Perfect for a night together learning about each other. Grab the download now!

loving your community through the enneagram

As always, it is my hope that you have an inspired day!

Thanks for reading!

Enneagram 101 (the enneagram self-discovery guide)

Who Are You? An Enneagram Discovery Guide

Have you ever wanted to understand yourself better, or to understand the people in your life a little more? Wouldn’t it be amazing if you knew why you do what you do, and beyond that, if could understand what motivates the people around you? The enneagram self-discovery guide is the beginning of your journey.

Today I am sharing with you a printable guide that will help you and a group of friends dig into the enneagram together.

I am so excited to share this information with you!

The enneagram has so many levels to it, and is full of so much wisdom for growth and movement towards awareness in our lives. This enneagram self-discovery guide is a perfect jumping off point. It gives you the, “Enneagram 101 version”, the bones of the wisdom, without overwhelming.

“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.”

-Socrates

The gift of knowing yourself opens up so many doors in your life. This is my hope for you and this enneagram self discovery guide. I want you to experience self-awareness and in turn, transformation into the person you truly want to become and were made to be. The enneagram not only shows who you are right now, but who you can work towards becoming.

The enneagram self-discovery guide

What is the enneagram?

The word enneagram, comes from two greek words, “ennea,” meaning “nine,” and “gram”, meaning, “symbol.” No one quite knows the origin, but it has been studied for thousands of years. It is an old wisdom of people and why we do what we do.

If you want to read over the basics, the summary of each type, take a look at this post (An Enneagram Introduction).

The enneagram self-discovery guide

Here are a few of the many benefits of learning the enneagram:

  • Learning your basic emotional structure
  • Understanding your stress patterns
  • Understanding your strength patterns
  • Learning your access points to numbers beyond your basic number
  • Growing in compassion and empathy towards others
  • Appreciating who you are in your core number

Here’s the deal:

I am offering readers this beginners guide to studying the enneagram at 45% off right now! It is packed full of lovely printables that go into depth for each type. Including:

  • An overview of each type
  • A questionnaire for each type
  • Identifying wings
  • What each type looks like in the phases of average, healthy, and unhealthy

This beginners enneagram self-discovery guide is perfect for a group who is just learning about the enneagram. Also, having a group or community around when you are making an effort to grow is very important. The support they can provide is monumental in your success. You can keep each other accountable and share in the ups and downs of learning about yourself.

While going through the guide you should be able to identify with the type that sounds most like you. Pay attention to motivations, rather than behaviors. But take note, it takes some people a while to find their number and that is okay. This is just the beginning of a long journey.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”

Lao-tzu (Chinese proverb)
Who are You? An Enneagram Self-discovery Guide

Grab the Enneagram Self-discovery guide here. It’s 45% off right now in the shop!

The Enneagram self-discovery guide is a great resource for groups to do together! It includes all the information for all 9 types, and would be a wonderful way for any group to better understand each other!

I hope you take advantage of this deal and that it truly teaches you (and your group) about yourself and others!

Live inspired!

Behind the Scenes of Enneagram Type 6

You may know the enneagram type six, as the Loyalist. But I have news for you, I happen to be a type six. So come along with me as I tell you all my secrets. Let’s go behind the scenes of enneagram type 6 and find out who they really are.

Paradoxical

It’s true that type six is extremely loyal. But what you might not know about sixes is that this type is full of paradoxes. Anything you can say about a type six, the opposite is also true. So, though they are loyal, they are first skeptical and distrusting. They are both strong and weak, confident and self-doubting, aggressive and passive, dependent on a group and yet very independent. The list can go on and on.

Holding both opposites inside one human being, causes the type six to doubt themselves, looking outward for advice, but also to the voices within. This brings us behind the scenes of enneagram type six to what we call, “the inner committee.”

The Inner Committee

We all experience doubt at times, and even an inner voice telling us what to do. Sixes experience more than just one voice. It is a multitude of voices from people they love or respect, weighing in their opinion on whatever it is the six is having trouble with. The six channels the perceived opinions of these other people to get rid of their own self-doubt and make a decision based on what they think someone else might choose. This strategy often gets them into trouble however, causing a muddled effect with a riot of voices going on inside.

Sound exhausting? It is. This over-thinking is also related to the fact that the type six is both thinking dominant and thinking repressed. Let’s unpack this idea, as we go deeper behind the scenes of enneagram type 6.

Thinking (head)/Fear Triad

Enneagram type six is the middle number in the thinking/ head triad, sometimes also referred to as the fear triad. Type six shares this triad with types, 5, and 7. All three types are “top heavy,” meaning they are deep thinkers, and also dominant in the the thinking intelligence center. They will all take in information through the thinking center first.

All three of these types are also influenced by fear, but in very different ways. The type six may deal with fear in the most obvious way. Their fear motivates them to strive for security and safety in life. It also causes them to imagine worst-case scenarios wherever they go. They feel if they can prepare and plan for the worst, they will be ready when the worst happens. Ironically, the sixes imagined scenarios almost never happen, and though they fear stressful, unsafe situations, they always seem to handle them with ease and confidence when the moment comes.

The Dependent Stance

Now you know a few of the secrets behind the scenes of enneagram type 6, but did you know the type six is a dependent number? Along with types 2, and type 1, type six is in the dependent stance. This means these numbers have an orientation to time towards the present. These are the “now” people, the “in the moment” people. It also means they base most things on other people. For sixes in particular, it is a combination between self-doubt and wanting the best for all involved.

Sixes are very community minded. They make decisions based on how it will affect the group as a whole. Since they depend on others for decision making, and struggle with self-doubt, sixes can be very indecisive.

Behind the scenes of enneagram type 6

The dependent stance also determines the repressed center, which for this group is thinking. So even though type six is thinking dominant, they are also thinking repressed. What?

Yep, another paradox held inside the type six! This means, the type six takes in information with thinking, but then tends to turn that into over-thinking while processing. This wastes time and energy, that the type six really doesn’t have.

Sixes need to learn to trust themselves. This would eliminate much of their overthinking. They need reminded that they do make good decisions. In fact, if they were to look back at the evidence it would be an overwhelming confidence booster. Sixes seem to forget their successes, and start over with each new decision full of fear and doubt.

Tips for the six in your life

Be clear about expectations. Sixes hate to be surprised, and knowing what to expect calms them, and gives them what they want most: support and a sense of safety.

Reassure them that everything is “okay.” They often feel waves of anxiety and uncertainty about everything in their lives. They need reminded that they have a steady place to stand.

Be supportive, and remind them of their successes. When they are stepping out in faith, give them encouragement. Show them what they have done in the past to get them to where they are now.

I hope you enjoyed going behind the scenes of enneagram type 6 with me. We love those loyalists!

Grab the overview below here.

Check out this one of a kind Type 6 Candle! perfect for the 6 in your life! Grab it here!

3 Secrets to Stop Falling into Your Old Habits

We all have patterns that we keep repeating, good and bad. What happens when you can’t seem to stop falling into your old bad habits? These cycles turn destructive and make you feel out of control. Today, let’s talk about 3 secrets to stop falling into your old habits. It can be done with the help of my favorite tool, the enneagram.

Self-Reflection and Awareness

First, you need to identify what your pattern is. This takes the secret of self reflection and developing awareness. What is real self-reflection? Being honest about what is really going on. Watching yourself and your behaviors.

When you want to change anything in your life, or reach a goal of any kind, you have to begin by knowing where you are.

This kind of brutal honesty with yourself is the beginning of healing and growth. Each enneagram type has specific destructive cycles that repeat, when left unchecked. After self-reflection, you naturally become more aware. You will notice, “oh, I’m doing that thing again.” This simple observation- the pause before the reaction, is a powerful tool to adopt.

3 secrets to Stop Falling into Your Old Habits

What are some enneagram habits you might fall into?

Type one might catch themselves overly perfecting things, and criticizing themselves when things aren’t good enough.

Twos might continually forget boundaries and help, when help is not what is needed most.

Three might forget to take off their mask and engage in real relationship.

Type four might continually compare themselves to others and spiral into a downward cycle of feeling somethings is missing from their own lives.

Fives pattern of keeping their needs to themselves and their “fences” high, inhibits growth in relationships.

Sixes might continually doubt themselves and struggle with trusting their decisions.

Sevens might miss out on the moment, while impulsively moving on to the next most exciting thing.

Eights might trample over people in their boldness in effort to hide their vulnerability.

Nines might fall into patterns of merging too often with the desires and opinions of others, and become passive aggressive.

(want to learn more about the nine enneagram types? check out this post.

Pause and Pivot

The great news is, that once you’re aware of your patterns, you can move into new ones. This brings us to our second secret to stop falling into your old bad habits, which I like to call, the pivot. You see the thing you would normally do about to happen, but instead of doing it, you pause and you pivot. This small move is what will change your life when repeated regularly.

Viktor Frankl put it this way:

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

I know we are not taking advantage of the space often enough. Pausing is an art lost to the modern world. We feel out of control because we are not using our power to choose our responses. We are simply moving through life on autopilot. But that is no way to live.

Every enneagram type falls into these issues one way or another. This is why the secrets to stop falling into our bad habits are universal. As we’ve discussed already, First we must self-reflect and awaken to our own realities. Then, embrace our power to choose our own responses through pivoting from old patterns.

3 ways to stop falling into your old bad habits

Notice the good and repeat.

Lastly, notice the good and repeat. It is so important to recognize our successes no matter how small. Neuro-pathways are created in the brain when you repeatedly think the same thought over and over. Wow… I hope you are thinking good thoughts! I hope you are feeding that power with good.

Just imagine yourself going through the process of these secrets throughout your day. Observing your behaviors. Being honest with yourself. Pausing in the space before reacting and choosing to pivot to a new response. Then, realizing that you made the better choice. Doesn’t that feel good? Feed your brain, body, and soul with all that goodness! I promise it will make you smile!

You will begin to feel un-stuck, in control, and free!

Don’t you deserve that for yourself?

I know you do.

I hope you will put these words into practice and move in the world inspired.