What are You Chasing?

Do you ever feel like you’re going in circles? Overwhelmed by the cycles of life, and you never quite get to where you set out to go? It may be time to ask yourself, what are you chasing? Why is it that you feel this disconnect from wholeness? Today’s post will cover types 1, 2 and 3 on the enneagram and their specific chase.

We are all chasing something in an effort to feel seen, heard, loved and understood. The way we chase after these things however, looks very different for each enneagram number. We are motivated differently, and our subconscious sends us on the chase to fulfill a deep need within us.

When this need goes unnoticed, the chase remains as simply a distraction from life’s true meaning and purpose. In attempt to get our needs met, we can create some pretty destructive paths.

Identification

The first step to understanding your chase is to identify it. What is it you are after? Why are you on this path? Is this the best way to get what you want and be who you want to be?

These questions will help you pause and reflect upon what is really going on in your life. Many of us are stuck on “autopilot,” living each day like the one before… but what if there is more.

And by more, I mean less…

Let’s take a look at each enneagram type, their chase, and movement into growth toward their virtue. By understanding the chase, we can refocus, simplify, and move forward in transforming and beautiful ways.

Type one

Enneagram type one is chasing improvement and perfection. Doesn’t sound so bad, right? We need people concerned with making things better and striving for the best.

However, the chase of the one becomes dangerous when they elevate this desire of improvements over all else. They become obsessed and harsh, pointing out every detail out of place. Judging themselves, others, and their surroundings for short comings, consumes them. And the chase is on!

Here’s where the enneagram shines as my favorite tool…

We can give the struggling type one practical handles to grab hold of that will literally change their life from chase cycle to a path of contentment and ease.

Tools to derail your chase

Journaling

Ones need a place to channel their negative energy and critiques. Instead of tearing themselves and others down for the things that they see, one way to stop the chase in its tracks is to write these thoughts down. Get them out of your head and down on to paper where they can be put to rest for a while.

Beyond letting the critiques be known in a safe place, a type one really needs to acknowledge the good that is happening in their everyday lives. Journaling about what is going right is an extremely powerful move for ones. Name the ten things going well, and let go of the one thing that went wrong.

Movement

Literally moving their bodies is a great way for ones to get out some of their energy and fill their bodies with positivity. Exercising can also help quiet that inner critic as the brain is flooded with endorphins.

Letting Go

Making a mental note and personal goal to let go, for type one is a major growth move. There are many little things everyday that are hard to let go of. Letting go of the control in a few small areas will allow for more feelings of peace and harmony, and a new found freedom for ones.

Type Two

Enneagram type two is chasing affirmation and approval from others. We all want to be liked by others and love hearing that we have done well. For the type two however, they can turn this into a manipulative pull.

Subconsciously, twos chase this approval from others and prioritize it above all else. They give, give, give in hopes to gain likability in the eyes of others. Their chase feeds their ego which looks like pride. Two’s become martyr-like, sacrificing in ways beyond healthy boundaries that are both destructive and unwarranted.

Tools to Derail Your Chase

Pause for thinking

It is the two’s instinct to act on whatever feeling is going on at the present moment. They leave thinking behind, and do until they are exhausted. A helpful tool for twos in these moments, is to pause and ask powerful questions to bring up thinking.

Can someone else do this task?

Do I need to take ownership of this situation?

What am I saying no to, if I say yes to this?

These simple questions can help the type two really focus on what is important. Prioritizing and setting boundaries helps you live your best life, and move in the ways you were meant to without taking ownership of things that aren’t meant for you to carry.

Journal

When type twos journal, they tend to focus on other people. Instead, let this journaling time be about you, reflect on how you are feeling. Write down the questions from above for even deeper reflection on what you are taking on. Think about the why in your life. Why am I doing what I am doing?

You will be surprised at what comes up and the impact it will have on your life. This journaling exercise helps derail your chase by giving you back the power. It is easy to fall into dependence on others from their opinions to feeling obligated to serve them. You don’t need their approval. You are enough just as you are.

Words of affirmation

Furthermore, be your own encouragement. Find words that inspire you and choose a place to make them visible daily. Maybe you can write a powerful mantra on your mirror, or put a sticky note near your doorway.

Through the ebbs and flows of life, you need to know that you are enough, that you already have everything you need within you. People are going to let you down, and without their love and approval, you still have what it takes inside you to be whole and lovely.

Shower yourself with positive self-talk. This means tell yourself the words you need to hear. Steer clear of negativity and work at building yourself up. Say the things you would say to your dearest friend, and you’ll be right on target.

Type Three

Type three is chasing success and achievement. In one way or another we all want success, but for type three this is their end game. They will avoid failure at all cost, meaning if they have to cut corners a bit to come out on top, they will. In their chase, threes become chameleons in order to get what they want and to look how they feel they need to appear.

When type three is caught up in the chase, they have a hard time seeing reality and understanding even who they really are. Their road to wholeness can be a tricky one.

Tools to derail your chase

Confession

To begin the journey to wholeness, threes need to start by finding out where in their lives they are being inauthentic. This can be done through talking with a trusted friend. Being open about real struggles, and confessing where they haven’t been honest.

Though challenging at first, this practice of confession will become extremely freeing for the type three. They live their lives in a guarded way, afraid of rejection and failure. By taking this step in honesty and vulnerability, their chase will be thrown off course.

Journal

Yes, this is a recurring beneficial practice! Each type needs journaling with a slightly different focus. For type three, let your journaling time be the place where you are the most honest.

Community

When threes move into their healthier space, there is a shift from spotlight on them, to caring more about the group as a whole. This can be done intentionally. Shifting the focus from personal success, to what does the group need?

Not only can you lead the group with excellence as a three, but you can take advantage of what the community has to offer. Allow your community to support you, let them lead sometimes, and realize the gifts that come through dependence rather than being the lone wolf.

Life will continue to ebb and flow. We will constantly be at odds with the chase. But this doesn’t mean we surrender to it. Even simply being aware that we have a chase, makes us more likely not to fall into it’s patterns.

Be kind to yourself as you grow. Just try to make one positive step today that is better than yesterday. Move in the direction you wish to become.

I hope that some of these tools will prove helpful for you within your own type and that you will be on your way derailing your chase and living in wholeness.

Blessings! Thanks for reading!

Grab this printable pdf below, a quick glance at the 9 types passions and virtues. Our passions are the chase left unattended. The virtue is our path toward growth and personal development.

Want an overview of all 9 enneagram types?

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Enneagram Love Letters

Types Three, Four, and Five

I am continuing the Love Letter Series this week, dedicating a love letter to each enneagram number. What better gift, than the expression of love through words?

Please enjoy today’s enneagram love letters to types three, four, and Five!

Want a download of this love letter? Grab it here:

Want to download this love letter? Grab it here:

Grab a download PDF of this love letter to type 5 here:

I hope you have enjoyed these love letters to types, 3, 4, and 5! Share them, print them, read them aloud!

Live an inspired life!

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Enneagram type 3 and fictional characters

Enneagram type 3 is fairly easy to spot in fictional characters because they are openly image conscious and extremely charming. They become whoever they need to be for the person, or people they are with. Threes love flattery, adoration, and attention. Their “crime of passion,” is deceit, lying to get what they want seems a small price to pay for threes: kings of rationalizing. Let’s talk about enneagram type 3 and fictional characters.

Scarlet O’hara

Our first example, Scarlet O’hara, is a perfect example of an enneagram type 3 fictional character. The belle of the south, she charms her way into the heart of many. She doesn’t mind that she also breaks hearts wherever she goes, as long as she gets what she wants in the end.

“Image conscious much, Miss Scarlet?” She takes the part of looking like the belle of the south seriously. Even when she has no money to dress herself properly, she enlists her servant to make her a gown out of the drapery so she won’t appear poor.

Her deceitfulness and charm do get Scarlet pretty far, but she is no match for Rhett Butler (who might also be considered a type 3). He sees right through her games, and falls in love with who she really is underneath.

It is hard for the type 3 to let go of the mask and stop performing. They believe to earn love, they must put on a show. They are only as good as their acheivements in their minds.

Scarlet does achieve! When she is left destitute on her plantation with no one, she makes sure there is food to eat, and begins to plan for the future, as threes can’t help but look forward. She has the, “failure is not an option” attitude of the type 3, and intends on winning in every aspect of her life.

Gilderoy Lockhart (from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

The enneagram and fictional characters

Gilderoy Lockhart moves his career ahead through literally stealing the successful stories of brave wizards, performing a forgetting charm on them, and claiming their success as his own. Only a type three could smear the paths of right and wrong without a backward glance. Not only does he move ahead in life on this horrible deceit, but her wants to look good while doing it.

He is constantly concerned with his appearance and making sure he gets in front of the camera whenever one is nearby. He also has photos of himself up on the walls literally everywhere. This shows his type 3 image consciousness, and selfishness.

Type 3 loves admiration and flattery. We see Lockhart enjoying long lines of people waiting for his autograph in his latest book, and signing piles of fan mail with his portrait. He truly loves the attention and adoration drawn by his super fans.

Mr. Wickham

The enneagram type 3 and fictional characters

Another great example of a type 3 in literature (or film), is Mr. Wickham from Pride and Prejudice. He is the dashing soldier, charming and attractive who easily steals the hearts of many. With a simple look he can change the emotions in the room. He is social and popular, easy to like on the surface.

When we are first introduced to Mr. Wickham, we believe him to be noble and worthy of Elizabeth Bennet, our heroine. But we soon learn that his stories were full of falsehoods, in attempt to make himself look good.

When his lies fail to work on Elizabeth, he using his charm to attach himself to her younger sister, creating a new mess for everyone involved. He fears failure and not living up to the standards that society and birth have set for him.

The tragedy here is that he hasn’t learned his own value and insists on masquerading through life as who he thinks others wish him to be. He is self-promoting, and pretentious, letting his higher qualities go to waste.

Rachel Green

In exploring the enneagram type 3 and fictional characters we find another example in Rachel Green from “Friends.”

The enneagram type 3 and fictional characters

If you have seen the T.V. show friends, it is easy to see that Rachel’s character displays many of the type 3 behaviors, qualities and motivations. She is well-liked, has been popular in every phase of her life, and uses her good looks and charm to get what she wants.

The series begins with her making her first move of growth when she leaves her own wedding to a man she doesn’t want to marry. She is leaving behind a life of wealth and “easy living,” for a life of struggle, but one she will make her own. This is the beginning of her awareness and growth arch as a character.

Seeing success as living the life she wants instead of living a life full of money and things, is a big turning point for Rachel. The rest of the series follows her trying a failing, and trying again in relationships, careers, and other obstacles.

One of the great things about type 3: they don’t give up.

I hope you enjoyed this take on a few popular characters, helping us to understand the type 3 a little better.

Are you a type 3? Do you know a type 3? Maybe you thought of a different fictional character who is a type 3… feel free to comment about it!

Here is a type 3 pdf printable you can grab by using the button below.

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Behind the Scenes of Enneagram Type 3

Enneagram type threes, are known as the achievers. We usually see them as the charming people that always seem to be holding the lucky hand in life. But there is more to type three than being a successful achiever. Let’s go behind the scenes of enneagram type 3 and find out who they really are.

The Aggressive Stance

The first thing to notice about type threes, is that they are in the aggressive stance. What does this mean? Not only are they a confident, powerful number, but they live life for the future. Their orientation to time is always looking forward, not present or looking back.

This may be why threes have a slight advantage over other numbers at being what they are known for- successful. They are extremely driven, and complete tasks efficiently. These charmers can come off as manipulative. They will stoop to lying and cheating if they are unhealthy, and have chameleon like qualities. Meaning, they become whatever is necessary to reach the desired goal.

Like with every number, the three’s passion is both a strength and a weakness. They carry the heavy burden of being what is needed in the room, while completely neglecting who they really are.

Threes are often disconnected with their inner self because they have spent so much of their lives being who everyone else expects them to be. This issue is made worse when they are praised for being the false self. It encourages them to stay there, and avoid growing altogether.

On a lighter note, threes are generally really fun to be around. They are usually quite popular. Slightly owing to fact that they are preoccupied with image and really great at presenting themselves as the person you want to be around. They have a great sense of humor, and get a long with an array of people.

The Heart Triad

Threes are part of what we know as the heart triad, or the feelings center of intelligence. This means they take in information through feelings. However, they are also feelings repressed, which means they don’t use feelings productively. They get stuck in the cycle of thinking and doing. Feelings get put aside, so they can be more productive.

Threes can easily fall into a work-a-holic situation, without the benefit of feelings to let them know they are nearing burnout. They see how things can be done most effectively and line up tasks to get it all done.

Healthy threes make fantastic leaders. Since they are both future oriented and goal oriented, they have the power to lead with great success. They also naturally form groups of followers which allows them to rely on their team to achieve greatness. This type is inspiring and passionate, and can really make change happen in the world.

Growth Tips for Type 3

Tune into how others are feeling, and their needs. In other words, take that inward focus and move it outward.

Stop putting on a show. People love you for you, not for what you do or how well you perform. Allow that to sink in.

It’s okay to fail. This may be your greatest fear, but it actually won’t kill you. In fact, you will a TON from the experience of failing.

What Type 3 Needs From Us

Words of affirmation… but not about their success and achievements (that’s just cheap flattery). Threes need to hear genuine affirmation that lifts up the deep parts of themselves and reassures them that those hidden parts are good, valued and safe to share.

Support when they fail. Since three’s are terrified of this happening, show up for them when it does. This will help them understand that neither their successes nor their failures define them.

Help them bring up feelings to the surface. Ask them how they are feeling. Word conversations around feelings to help them realize they do feel things.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this post going behind the scenes of enneagram type 3! I love all the threes in my life, I hope these tips were helpful!

Keep Inspiring!

If you would like a print out of the overview below, click here. You’ll find this and all 9 types in the shop, along with other great printables!

behind the scenes of enneagram type 3
Enneagram Type 3 Candle

This Enneagram Type 3 candle makes the perfect gift for any 3 in your life! Available now in the shop!