What is Your Hazard

Hey there! It’s officially road trip season, and I know a lot of you are anxious to get out there. Maybe some of you are heading for high elevations. Have you ever driven in the mountains with high rock formations, and you see those signs, “Hazard ahead, look out for falling rocks?” This situation can be really dangerous, right? Today, we are talking about the hazards in your life that keep you from getting where you want to go and how the enneagram both defines these hazards, and gives us a road map to work around them.

what is your hazard?

It’s not the rocks themselves that are dangerous. A rock is just a rock. I like this analogy because it allows us to see the power of perspective. None of our personal hazards are dangerous all on their own, it’s the power and perspective we give them, and the situations we allow to form around them, that make them so dangerous.

Using the enneagram, we can define our hazard through our core number. This will be the trap that you continually find yourself in. The pattern of your core number keeps bringing you back to this self destructive behavior and situation that doesn’t serve you well. The key to getting out of this trap is by connecting with your strength number and the high virtues you have access to through that number.

Let’s look at some examples.

Type one

One’s hazard has to do with control. Their key motivation is to be good, also meaning they don’t want to be bad. This might seem over simple, but it is full of complication. They feel like if they can keep out anything labeled as “bad,” they won’t be corrupted by it, therefore keeping them preserved, and good. Are you seeing the blind spot here? This is an impossible feat. No one can be fully good and keep out all wrong.

Type One’s Strength Number: Seven

The road map for type one means connecting to the high side of seven. The virtue one’s need to strive for is sobriety. This is the acceptance of “what is.” Not wanting things to be better, more, or different. There is a peaceful balance here that gets one’s out of their cycle to improve and control. They realize they have control of very little in reality, and there is a gift in understanding that balance.

Type Two:

Two’s hazard is around acceptance and needing to be liked or loved. Doesn’t everyone want to be liked or loved? Well, yes, but none of us hold a candle to the deep need of the type two for this acceptance. They will go beyond boundaries and logic to please others, subconsciously wanting a reciprocal love and helpfulness to come their way. Their challenge is keeping boundaries, and authenticity. Their blind spot lies in overstepping and saying yes to everything and everyone.

Type Two’s strength number: Four

The road map for type two means connecting to the high side of type four. Fours might just be the most authentic type on the enneagram. Twos need to key into this as well as the awareness fours have around their own emotions and feelings. They can also connect to the fours ability to have good boundaries based on that genuineness. The best decisions can be made when a two knows how they feel and what is theirs to do.

Type Three:

Three’s hazard is around self-importance and their blind spot has to do with succeeding at all costs. They are efficient and block out feelings to get things done. Just like every number, a strength easily becomes a weakness when it is in excess. Three’s can trend toward workaholism, doing only what will allow them to win or reach their goal.

Type Three’s Strength Number: Six

The road map for type three means leaning into the best qualities of type six. These include: loyalty, steadfastness, faithfulness, and compassion. When type three can let go of their success mask, and pick up truth and loyalty, they will avoid many hazards on their way. Slowing down, is key for threes. Dare I say it: being unproductive is okay! Threes need to learn to sit with feelings, their own, as well as others, allowing them to have both self compassion and compassion for others.

Type Four:

The hazard for type four, is focusing too much on what is missing. Fours are idealistic, and want things to be a certain way. They instantly notice what they don’t have, what they are not, and get stuck in a cycle of comparing and feelings. All the while, fours truly miss out. Life is happening around them, but they can’t seem to get out of their inner world, that tells them they aren’t enough, they need to be more special, more like…

Type Four’s Strength Number: One

The road map for type four is through the high side of type one. The structure, follow-thru, and dependability of type one lends stability to the type four. Through type one, fours can find clarity, and also a path to get thing done. They move away from comparison syndrome, and into a place of realism and serenity.

Type Five:

The hazard for type five centers around independence, capability, and personal boundaries. These characteristics on their own seem quite positive, but like we’ve said, attributes can easily become unbalanced. This is why we experience hazards in our lives. Fives in particular, become overly guarded and closed off. They want to figure everything out for themselves without allowing for help. This hazard keeps fives from interaction, as well as relying solely on themselves for everything.

Type Five’s Strength Number: Eight

The road map for five’s is through the powerhouse of type eight. This positive move from five to eight allows fives to be direct about how they feel, and ask for what they need. It also activates the doing center for fives, who often stay for long periods of time in the planning, thinking, reminiscing stage. Eights are known for action, as well as their boldness. This brings fives back into balance, and actually helps them connect better with others as they are communicating needs, and desires.

Type Six:

The hazard for sixes has to do with anxiety and over-thinking. Sixes are motivated by security, and tend to spiral into worst-case scenario thinking, or over-thinking in general. A major blind spot for sixes is doubting themselves. This hazard affects every area of their lives and decision making. “But what if…” is constantly just under the surface for sixes. They are always wondering, and planning for everything.

Type Six’ Strength Number: Nine

The road map for type six is through the peacemaker- type nine. Going to the high side of nine feels like a soothing remedy to sixes anxious mind. To let go of the worry, and embrace the easy going attitude of type nines is so healing. The “what ifs,” are gone, there is a calm acceptance that everything will be okay. The peacefulness of nine allows sixes to get out of their heads and into their bodies, to feel the reality that 80% of the the things they worry about NEVER happen!

Type Seven:

Seven’s hazard is around avoiding feelings, and fear of missing out. The kings of stuffing feelings might just be the type seven. It’s not fun to feel those feelings sometimes, so why not just pretend they aren’t there and distract yourself with something exciting? Yes, sevens fall prey to this unhealthy distraction tactic and many others that allow them to not feel the pain of deep feelings. Another blind spot is around FOMO (fear of missing out). If there is fun to be had, a seven wants to be there no matter how reckless or ill-timed the event may be.

Type Seven’s Strength Number: Five

The road map for seven’s is through the high side of type five. This move grounds type seven, and helps them establish healthy boundaries. They stop saying “yes,” to everything, and start considering time to with drawl alone as something to look forward to. The five’s independence, and self-reliance gives seven’s balance, and courage to face some of those hard feelings in their own way.

Type Eight:

The hazard for eights, centers around control, as well as anger. This strong body type does not want to be controlled by anyone, and holds anger right at the surface. Eights speak their minds openly without worrying about whose feelings they might hurt. These blind spots mean they are often in conflicts with others, challenging constantly on every side. Their sharp edges are deceptive however, protecting a deeper vulnerable side that just want to love you.

Type Eight’s Strength Number: Two

The road map for eights is through the high side of type two: the helper. The positive qualities of twos give the eights needed connection to feelings, compassion, and humility. When Eights access type two, they present softer, considering others opinions, and not challenging as frequently. This awareness helps balance type eight, allowing for the possibility of seeing that vulnerable side.

Type Nine:

The hazard for nine is centered around merging, and avoiding conflict. Nines rarely speak their mind, they agree with those they are with, to avoid conflict, when they really might feel differently. This creates a passive aggressive attitude, making problems hard to solve. They desire peace within, and peace outwardly, and will do anything to achieve this. Managing all of this feels impossible to the nine, and they might give up.

Type Nine’s Strength Number: Three

The road map for nines is through the confident type three. When nines lean into the decisive type three, they can speak their mind, say what they mean, and feel comfortable doing it. The three energy also helps nines achieve their goals, and get things done. Type three allows nines to realize that some conflict is good and healthy and it won’t kill them.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed talking about our hazards. Remember to lean into your strength number to get out of some of those spirals, you really can do it! You always have access to your strength number!

Live inspired and keep growing!

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Looking for printables for each enneagram type?

Check out the overview printable packet below!

Do You Need a Getaway?

Hey there! I wanted to share this opportunity with you, my enneagram enthusiasts! We are planning a special getaway this fall that will be perfect for you!

During 2020, my sister and I started a business called “Enneasisters.” We are both enneagram coaches, and love helping others use the tool of the enneagram to improve their lives.

Through this passion we have begun hosting local events to teach, share, and have a good time all centered around the enneagram.

Our next event is coming up! (Well it’s in late October… but now is the time to plan)! It is a getaway all about releasing, resetting, and recharging. We all need that!

Where is the getaway?

The historic Blackwell Hotel in downtown Coeurd’Alene, Idaho.

Not only is Coeurd’Alene a perfect getaway location, but the Blackwell is a luxurious boutique hotel that makes you feel both special, and comfortable.

What Will The Getaway Retreat Include?

Sunrise Yoga

Meditation

Nature walk

Enneagram training

Group enneagram sessions

Time alone or with others

Journaling and reflection

Healthy meals

2 nights of restful sleep in beautiful surroundings

When is this release, reset retreat?

Grab a friend, pack your bags, and get ready to feel grounded and rejuvenated together!

October 28th&29th

After the busy summer is over, you’ll be looking forward to getting away. Here in North Idaho October is my favorite month! The temperature is perfect for a crisp walk through the color changing trees. The changes outdoors not only remind us it’s time to get cozy, but also to think about the changes we need to make within ourselves.

We grow best alongside those we care about. Grab your favorite people and plan on growing together through a meaningful and special retreat weekend.

Imagine yourself waking up in breathtaking Coeur d’ Alene to sunrise yoga. You’ve spent the night with some of your favorite people gathering around in the beautiful historic setting, discussing enneagram. You did evening meditation and slept soundly in a room with your bestie.

After morning yoga, you enjoy a delicious healthy breakfast, excited about what the day will hold. On the agenda, there is a special nature walk near the famous lake Coeur d’Alene, several enneagram learning and growth sessions, time for reflection and journaling, thinking about who you are and what you are meant for, healthy meals, and evening yoga ending the day like two book ends.

Ah, bliss and serenity. This sounds amazing!

You need this retreat. You deserve to getaway. Your soul is calling for a recharge!

I hope you will join us! This is a rare opportunity that I would love to share with you!

5 Spiritual Practices Everyone Should Try

(Bonus Post)

There are so many spiritual practices, it is hard to just choose just a few to focus on. We have been pairing specific practices with specific enneagram types throughout this series, but today, I wanted to give you a bonus post. 5 Spiritual practices that everyone should try to incorporate in their lives. Of course, I could have added a ton to this list, but I wanted to choose just 5 that are deeply meaningful. Anyone can add one or more of these practices to see positive changes in their lives.

Forgiveness

Music

Yoga

Art

Morning/Evening Questions

Forgiveness

First, let’s talk about forgiveness. Everyone is familiar with the concept, but few are acting it out in their lives. What does it mean to forgive? And why is it so important that we include this spiritual practice in our daily lives?

Forgiveness is about letting go.

It’s also about YOU. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, when you say, I don’t want to carry this anymore, I’m putting this heavy thing down. I am free of it. The perspective and ownership of the practice is what makes it work, like many others.

You have the power to begin a healing process when you take control of a situation with forgiveness. It’s not about the other person. You will never be able to control them, but you can always control yourself. How you hold on to things, how you perceive things, and also how you put boundaries around things are yours to control.

Forgiveness allows you to let go of what is hurting you and holding you back. Boundaries allow you to be loved better, and to love others better. Forgetting is never the point. All experiences move us toward learning the lessons in life we are meant to learn. The sooner we embrace this, the better.

5 spiritual practices everyone should try

Forgiveness Practice Tip

If there is someone in your life who you are having a really hard time forgiving, I have a practice for you to try.

First, practice forgiving yourself.

How can you forgive others, if you haven’t forgiven yourself? Is there something you are holding on to that you feel shameful about? Where do you need forgiveness for yourself in your life? Is it around your parenting? Your relationships? Your workplace? Whatever it is… let go. Forgive. Be kind to yourself first.

Next, forgive someone you deeply love.

Forgiving someone you love comes pretty natural. You value this relationship and you want to make amends. Even if it’s something small, practice forgiving them. Don’t hold wrongs against them. Let them know that you are putting down whatever was between you. >>>Ahhhh… <<< sigh, that feels good. That weight is lifted. Relationship mended.

Now, move on to forgiving an acquaintance.

A co-worker who bad-mouthed you, someone at your gym who didn’t wipe down the machine, these are small instances, but shouldn’t be left to fester. As you practice forgiving even the tiniest things that felt harmful to you, something amazing begins to happen…

A “lightness” of spirit, a feeling of goodness washes over you. The more you do this, the easier it gets, and the more likely you will keep doing it.

Finally, it’s time to forgive that person who deeply hurt you.

This wasn’t just a snub, or a rude comment, this person did something that you had named unforgiveable. Can you do it? Really let go? Your practice will help, and experience tells you that you’ll feel better even though you thought this person didn’t deserve forgiveness.

Who does deserve forgiveness?

Do you?

Does the person you love deserve forgiveness?

How about that acquaintance, do they deserve it?

Remember, it’s not about them. It’s about YOU. And those gross, grudge feelings are getting heavy. It’s time to put them down. They aren’t serving you. Forgive. And then keep forgiving.

Just think, what a beautiful world we could have, if everyone put down their heavy burdens of wrongs done against them? What if we forgave everyone- everything?

You DO deserve it.

5 spiritual practices everyone should try

Music

I want to talk about music as a spiritual practice, because I believe it is one of the few lasting things that touches mind, body, and spirit. Even if you don’t have musical talent, music has the power to reach you on a very deep level.

Can you think of a song that made you cry?

What about one that made you dance, or turn up the volume with the windows down?

Have you ever thought about what is going on here? It’s about connection. The words the artist used, or the way the music sounded, or the specific beat, spoke to you. It made you feel something. You related. As if the artist described something in a way so beautiful and succinct, that it was like they read your mind and soul.

I know you’ve experienced this.

It can be even more moving, if you can create the music yourself. This isn’t possible for everyone, but if this is you… play every day! The mind, body, spirit connection here is so strong and beautiful.

At the very least, make yourself a few playlists. Choose one for each mood, or type of feelings you feel. Find songs that inspire you and put them all together. You could even incorporate this into some of your other practices. Pay attention to what feelings come up for you while listening to certain songs. Let this be a jumping off point for you to get curious about what is going on with you.

Music can be a great opener for awareness, and a release of emotions. Sometimes you won’t even know you were feeling something until a certain song comes on. And then, BOOM! it hits you! This is the moment. Ask yourself questions. Why am I feeling this? What is it about this song made me feel this way? Is there something else going on that I need to deal with?

Yoga

I am in no way a “Yogi.” But I do love yoga. I love that it is a forgiving, contemplative practice. It only requires you to show up, and try. This is great news in a world that seems to ask everything else of us. “Achieve,” “Be Perfect,” “Look Perfect,” “Be the Best,” these messages are not only discouraging, but impossible. Yoga, on the other hand, in it’s very nature is a practice.

Furthermore, with continued dedication, the practice becomes part of you. Some days you are more flexible than others. There is time to think, breathe, take in the good you want to keep within you. It can also be a time to let go.

The connection in yoga, is also one of mind and body. (This is important for everyone, but especially for enneagram types that are in the withdrawn stance- types 4,5, & 9). This practice will help you feel grounded, centered, and positive.

Art

Art isn’t just for the artistically gifted. The practice of art can be hugely rewarding for anyone. Paint. Doodle. Arrange flowers. Break some pottery, then create a mosaic. Frost a cake. Sew a pillowcase with lovely fabric. Color. Knit a scarf. Paint your nails. Try paper mache’.

It’s about beauty, but mostly it’s the experience of creating that reaches the soul.

Pick something, anything that gets you to use your hands and create. It doesn’t have to be perfect, or even good. The point is that you reach a particular part of you that needs to express through art.

As you know, there are many types of art. Choose the one that speaks to you, or try something you’ve never tried before. This will open you up in ways you maybe haven’t realized before. Connecting with something from the creative side is life changing.

This could be something you plan to do once a week, or once a month. Decide to try art as a regular practice however often you can. I enjoy using an art journal that gives me prompts on things to try. There is no wrong way to be an artist.

Morning/Evening Questions

If you have struggled to start a journaling practice, begin small with the simple idea of morning and evening questions. You could also add these to your already existing journal practice.

In the morning, think of two things only.

Pain, and desire.

What is causing you pain? Is there something heavy in your life? Are you worried about something or someone?

Write down your pain. It could be one word, one sentence, or a whole page. The important thing is to get it down. This practice alone, releases some of that stress and worry just by putting it down on paper.

Then, focus on your desire.

What are you hoping for your day? Is there something you are really looking forward to? Are there things you really want to happen today? How will you follow your joy and your passions today?

Write down your desires. If you could choose one thing you want to do, to be, to have, today, what would that be? Make this your goal, and your focus for the day. It could be as simple as a mindset you are striving for. Write it down. This will guide your day, and keep you positive, knowing you have a desire and a hope for your day.

Evening

When the day is done, its time to let go and be thankful. It’s over. You did the best that you could do. Take some reflective time and think about what you are grateful for. What made you smile today? Did a small act of kindness impact you today? Have you reached a small goal, or let go of something you were holding on to? These are things to be grateful for.

Keep it small. We rarely have days when some magnificent, sweeping, dramatic thing happens to us. It’s the little things that add up to a beautiful life. A look of love from across the room, the touch of a hand, the smell of your favorite flowers in bloom, you perfect drink- made just right, a close parking spot, a small accomplishment, a warm embrace, a cool breeze, your favorite song with the windows down…

And a hundred more tiny moments in your life that are worth noting, reflecting upon, and taking the time to be grateful for.

This practice will help you sleep better, and you’ll find yourself looking for the tiny blessings throughout your day that you will want to write down later.

Thank you for reading! I know this was a much longer blog post than I usually do. It is my hope that in giving you these bonus practices they will add meaning to your life no matter your number! I hope you will give some of them a try!

Live inspired!

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How do you create a space for your Spiritual Practice?

As we are going through this series all about the enneagram and spiritual practices, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to talk about creating a physical space for this. How do you create a space for your spiritual practice? And what are the benefits of having a space that is dedicated to your practice?

Let’s talk about the top 3 reasons for creating your space.

Why?

Why is it important to have a dedicated space for your spiritual practice? Of course, you can take your practice wherever you go, but there is something special about creating this space for yourself. It is a way to honor a decision you made.

1.Consistency

The first benefit a physical spaces gives to you, is encouraging consistency. Knowing you have a physical place to go, is going to make you much more likely to show up there. Seeing your pillow on the floor, or your small area set up with candles just waiting for you, will both remind you and entice you to begin your practice. The physicality of having a real space keeps you more accountable. The more you show up for yourself and your practice in this space, the more you’ll want to show up. This creates a consistency in your practice and in your life.

2.Ritual

The very nature of having a practice is in itself a ritual. The repeated pattern of doing something, anything, can be considered a ritual. It is when we add meaning to our rituals that our lives begin to open up in new ways. Creating a space you love, adds so much to your ritual. It allows for all your senses to be involved: the scent of a candle, or sight of it’s flame, the soft pillow beneath you, the smooth stones in your hands, the sight of something beautiful…

These all add meaning to your ritual, which in turn transforms your ritual into something more. You might begin to long for this place. The rhythm of your ritual brings the gifts of grounding, self-worth, and honor to you and your practice. Ritual, also gives you a place to come back to, and a place to begin from. This is a beautiful circle of practice.

3.Connection

Thirdly, having a space for your practice is going to make you feel more connected. Connected to what? Well, that depends on what it is you are practicing. Many times in spiritual practice, it is ourselves we are re-connecting with. It gives us a chance to sync the mind, body and spirit. Often we get stuck, working without one of these and forgetting that we need all three to function best.

The body is always in real time. It can’t be anywhere else. The body feels things now, needs things now, and functions completely in the present. Our minds however, might tend to wander to the future, or past, but when we can align these, the spirit sings!

This is why having a place to experience such deep connection is so important. And the more you practice, the more aligned you will become with your mind, body and spirit. This is something to get excited about!

Where?

You might be thinking, I don’t have the space anywhere to dedicate to a spiritual practice.

You don’t need a lot of space.

The important thing, is that you have chosen the space, and that you will use it. It could be a corner in a room that isn’t being used. Another idea, would be using part of your closet, if its large enough.

In the photos I’m sharing today, you will see my own space. I’ve taken a stool that I absolutely love, and placed it in the corner near my closet.

You could use a chair, or whatever you have, maybe a small table.

This works for me because its in a location that is both private, and next to the closet where I need to access everyday.

What To Include in Your Space…

This is highly personal. I wanted to include things that make me feel inspired, comfortable, and positive.

My big cushy pillow, is perfect for sitting on as long as I need. I added a tray to my lovely stool, to keep all my things in order. This allows me to incorporate other elements as well.

Art and words inspire me, so I have a few small pieces to focus my time. My stress ball helps me occupy my hands while I’m thinking, meditating, or praying.

(I read somewhere that just looking at a plant can lower your blood pressure, so hence the plant)!

I love candles! There is something in the ritual of lighting a candle that makes any moment feel special, and honored. The light, the warmth, the scent, it all adds to the experience of making this space feel sacred and set apart. Essential oils are also a passion of mine, so I add my favorites in a diffuser, if I’m feeling it.

How do you create a space for your spiritual practice?

I really like my space to feel cozy, so as you can see… I have lots of pillows, quilts, and more pillows!

A pen and paper are also kept handy, in case my meditation time inspired something I need to write down. And I have a board to post lots of words of encouragement, inspiration, and people I might want to think about or honor that day.

I hope this has given you some helpful ideas on how to set up your very own spiritual practice space, and many positive reasons on why you should create one soon!

Make it your own! Yours will look completely different from mine, I’m sure, but I hope you feel inspired to enjoy this space all to yourself and continue your spiritual practice with new found vigor!

Blessings!

Live your life inspired!

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Want to learn about the enneagram types?

Check out the all inclusive packet below. Who Are You: A Self-Discovery Enneagram Packet! It is fantastic for beginners and includes details for each type, explaining motivations, strengths, weaknesses, stress, and how to treat each type.

The Enneagram and Motivations

Why you do what you do makes you who you are. This is the key to knowing and understanding your type. Two different types may have the exact same behavior, but they are working from completely different motivations. This is fascinating to me, and the real core of the enneagram. So let’s go through the enneagram and motivations today!

I’m going to do just a quick summary of each type on the blog, but I am also releasing today some beautiful printables that I think you will love! To get the entire summary, you can now print each type in the fun printables below. They are colorful and formatted simply on one sheet, while including all the points about each type’s motivates and a peek into their character. If you want all nine types in a packet format, they are available in the shop along with a ton more information on each enneagram type…

If you want a specific number, click the buttons for each type to find it in the shop! Or you can always browse the shop to find all of the enneagram products and printables that I have created just for you!

What Motivates Type 1?

One’s are innately motivated by righteousness. What I mean by this is, they have in their mind a definite right way that things should be done in any given situation. They strive to do things this way, and avoid doing things, what they consider the wrong way. They judge themselves harshly in how well they are keeping up with this black and white way of life. One’s are keenly judgmental, and hold these standards so high that they are constantly disappointing themselves. This effort to do and essentially be good is the type one’s main driving force.

Grab the printable about type one below:

What Motivates Type 2?

The top motivations for two always come back to their relational side. They are in the heart triad, after all, meaning they feel first. However, their feelings are focused outwardly on others instead of what is going on with themselves. Much of their motivation comes from a deep place of wanting to be loved and accepted by others.

Of course, we all want love and acceptance, but for the type two, this desire motivates them into action in a very specific way. They seek to provide needs and help others in hopes that this will in turn earn them love and the acceptance they so desire.

Below is a complete sample (using type 2) of what the motivation sheets look like and include. Aren’t they fun? The blue boxes on the side, give a quick glance at the key motivations, while the right hand side is written out in descriptive detail about how our motivations make us and what that looks like in each type. I hope you enjoy these printables!

The Enneagram and Motivations Type 2

What Motivates Type 3?

Type three is motivated by success. This will look different for each three depending on what their definition of success happens to be. Many three’s idea of success has been shaped by the influential people they grew up around. This would be parents, teachers, coaches, etc. who gave them an idea of what the “winning ticket” looked like.

Threes naturally want to please others, this ties in to their motivation to succeed. If a parent stressed the idea of getting good grades as the picture of success, a type three would do everything in their power to get good grades. They have a strong will about them, that allows them to go after their desires in an almost cut-throat fashion.

Find out even more about type three below…

What motivates Type 4?

Fours are motivated by authenticity and beauty. This type does not put up with fake of any kind and cannot stand surface levels. Fours are deeply motivated by being their truest, raw versions of themselves, finding beauty in everything, including in pain and darkness, and desiring the same authenticity from others.

They know that they are different and they wouldn’t want it any other way. Fours pride themselves in being their own unique expression of who they are, and will even go out of their way to make sure that they aren’t like everyone else. They don’t want to stand out in a “look at me- showy” sort of way, they just want to be themselves and be loved for who they are.

More about fours…

What motivates type 5?

Fives are motivated by independence and personal capability. If they want to know something, they are extremely fulfilled in figuring it out themselves. This gives them confidence and inner pride. Fives are also motivated to learn and research their interests. They will spend hours lost in discovering what they want to know most.

This motivation of independence is carried throughout everything they do. Their inner world is so rich and multi-level that they can sometimes forget to let others in. Think of an iceberg, you see only it’s tip above the water, when in reality it’s bulk is hiding underneath the surface. Fives rarely share all the information, and especially if it is personal.

More about fives…

What Motivates Type 6?

Sixes are motivated by finding and keeping security. Security is this overarching theme that in seeking for it, causes sixes to also live with anxiety. This anxiety can get twisted into type six’s motivation where the anxiety moves them to do things in the hopes of then having security.

Sixes often choose the “safe” thing, or the thing that they have the most support for. Since they often don’t trust themselves, sixes look to others for approval, help with decision making, and ultimately for support or a sense of security.

More about sixes…

What Motivates Type 7?

Type Seven is motivated by satisfaction. They live this out in many different ways that can look like chasing “fun,” but it more than that. Being future oriented, sevens are always looking for the next thing that will make them happy or fulfill them.

They want the experience of feeling satisfied in every aspect, delicious foods, travelling to new places, trying and seeing things they have never seen before. Seven’s love going to events and it truly is all about the experience no matter where they go. If they are at a restaurant, they want the food and the environment to be positive and exciting.

More about Sevens…

What Motivates Type 8?

Eights are motivated by being in control. They hate others trying to control them or telling them what to do. This isn’t just because they are stubborn or difficult, eights have a true sense of how to manage things well. They have such a strong confidence and a way about them, that they really rarely need someone to tell them what to do. They’ve already thought of it and figured out the most efficient way to move forward.

Eights are also highly motivated by justice and protecting those who have no one on their side. They see an underdog like a personal mission, and have no problem saying or doing what is needed to stand up for others. When this type is at their best, they are natural leaders who move mountains, stop bullies, and make real change.

More about eights…

What motivates type 9?

Nines are motivated by their keen desire to have peace at all times. They see a flawed world full of waves and turmoil, and all they want is calm waters. This desire motivates everything they do… and everything they don’t do. Nines constantly try to “keep the peace.”

This can mean mediating between to opposing sides in order to keep a larger argument from breaking out. They also have this keeping the peace methodology internally. Nines want both peace on the outside and a calm inner world into which they can retreat. They are willing to bend and do what is needed to allow for this sort of peace to happen.

More about nines…

We don’t talk about ANGER!

If you have young kids at home, you’ve probably seen the new Disney movie, Encanto. It’s a great movie all about a family who each possess a different magical gift. Surprisingly, I’m not going to relate this awesome theme to our different enneagram gifts (though I definitely could)! There is a song from this movie that will get stuck in your head called, “We don’t talk about Bruno.” It got me thinking… we don’t talk about ANGER!

We don’t talk about anger

Each of the enneagram types handles anger a little bit differently, but why aren’t we talking about it? Is it just me, or is this one of the main emotions that we need to work out? Why are we getting angry? How are we expressing anger? What underlying emotions are behind anger? How can we best handle anger?

Maybe you and anger are good.

But I have struggled with it my whole life.

It’s the thing we don’t talk about. The thing you’re not supposed to feel or act on. Anger is my Bruno.

I once heard it said, that anger is only the result of an underlying emotion. Which begs the question, what other emotion is hiding under anger? Even more than our avoidance issues surrounding anger, are all those other neglected emotions using anger as shield.

So using the enneagram, we can boil down these hidden emotions into three main categories based on the triads. Anger is going to be masking fear, shame, or vulnerability.

The Gut Triad

Eights, Nines, and Ones, are part of the anger triad. This doesn’t mean any of them know what to do with their anger however. Eights tend to openly express it as they do with most things. Nines don’t even know they are angry. Ones are usually prone to stuffing the anger down to handle it at a more appropriate time.

The Heart Triad

This triad associates the feeling of anger more with the feeling of shame. For these three types, anger is going to relate to their image and their own perception surrounding it. Two’s anger usually comes from a place of feeling underappreciated, while a three might feel anger when they are not succeeding in a certain area, or failing at something important to them. A four’s anger will usually be related to how they see themselves fitting in to the world around them, or a flaw occurring in their idealistic ideas.

The Head Triad

Fives, Sixes, and Sevens, connect fear and anger in their own ways. A five can become angry when too much is expected of them without enough time to plan and prepare, or recharge. Sixes anger relates to safety and security. If either of these feel threatened, a sixes anger may rise up. Sevens anger mostly relates to not having choices, or being boxed in. A seven will fight against this just to feel the sweet breath of freedom.

These may be overly generalized, but it gives you an idea of what makes each type connect to anger in their own way. So how can we talk about anger, and deal with it in a healthier way?

Awareness

The first step to changing any habit, is noticing that it is in fact a habit. This takes conscious self-observation, and time. Becoming self-aware is a life long journey and one of the best parts of the enneagram. You can begin by asking yourself some simple questions:

What is going on inside me?

What am I feeling?

Where in my body do I feel something tensing?

Why do I feel this way?

Become an observer of yourself. Watch what you are thinking, feeling and doing.

Action

The next step, is moving toward growth and positivity. Moving forward now that you have observed your thoughts, feelings and body, it’s time to make some decisions. Many things may have risen up when you decided to do some self-reflection, things you might not be proud to admit. That’s okay. The important thing is now you can move in the direction you want to go instead of being controlled by the mask of anger.

Here are some positive steps to move through your anger after you have identified it:

Deep breathing.

Taking deep breaths is good for your whole body and your mind. This gives you a chance to reset and calm down. This step alone can dissolve much of your anger.

Proximity (physically moving away)

If you notice that you are too worked up to handle what is in front of you, a positive choice is to remove yourself. For example, go for a walk (the fresh air will also do you good)! Move to a separate room, or the bathroom just to catch your breath and keep yourself from reacting when you need to respond.

Talk about it

Yep, let’s talk about anger! One of the best ways to diffuse a strong emotion like anger, is to name it. Just saying, “I feel angry!” can take away some of the power that you feel this strong emotion has over you.

Even better, call someone you trust to talk this feeling through with you. Having a friend to help you clear away the cobwebs can be very transformative. If this scares you, think of the situation in reverse. If a friend called you and said, “hey I’m having the worst day, and I’m feeling angry,” you would most likely respond with compassion.

Imagine these words, “I know just how you feel. Tell me what’s going on, I’m here for you.” These are the words we need to hear when we are in an anger crisis. The roots of fear, shame, and vulnerability make it hard to take off their mask of anger to be seen. Its easier to just keep getting angry, to not do the work, and to hide from others the deeper feelings underneath.

As you do your hard work, showing up as yourself, remember that others need your compassion. Under their anger is someone scared to be vulnerable, someone too ashamed to share, or someone full of fear. Showing each other compassion will change our world. What if we listened instead of accused? What if we got curious instead of critical? Let’s give each other a hand as we talk about anger.

It is my hope that you live an inspired life in continuous growth in the direction of your dreams and goals.

Thank you for reading!

Have a blessed day!

To grab an overview of all 9 enneagram types, click the button below:

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Beauty and Sorrow

Beauty and Sorrow

I recently heard the epiphany that beauty can’t exist without sorrow. At first glance, this idea seemed shocking and maybe not quite right. But the more I thought about it, the more I could see the truth of beauty and sadness intertwined everywhere.

Nothing beautiful lasts. A sunset is gone in minutes. A flower fades and dies after it’s bloom. In all of.. life, death is wrapped up inside it. When a perfect baby is born, death is also birthed. In thinking about this idea, I couldn’t help but see these patterns and connections in motherhood which may give us the ultimate viewpoint of beauty and sorrow.

Motherhood

Motherhood is full of firsts and lasts. Both are unpredictable and sudden. The firsts are anticipated with joy and excitement. When will they take their first step? And then one day, they just do. And on and on the firsts continue. Soon they are talking, reading, riding a bike… These beautiful things we love to love. But tied up in them, is the loss of them.

The lasts are harder because you don’t know its a last until it doesn’t ever happen again. Its that beauty and sorrow connection. It is the goal of parenting for your kids to move on, grow up, change and be who they are meant to be. But at each stage there is a grief of sorts for what once was, and will never be again.

I have felt many of these bittersweet changes. The last story in the rocking chair with a toddler in my lap, the last cuddles in my bed early in the morning, the last carry a sleeping child in from the car ride, and many more besides.

The Waves

It hit me again this morning that I may be nearing another last. The first warm-ish day we’ve had in months came, which begged us to venture out to the park. My oldest said good-bye to park days long ago, but Middlest and little W wanted to go.

It was a Friday, so most kids were in school (we don’t do school on Fridays). The park was full of my past life, moms with toddlers, babies, and pre-schoolers. It hit me suddenly that this was my past and not my present. With little W at 9 years old, taller than anyone else there that morning, and Middlest, looking like the teenager he has now become.

Is this it? I thought. Could this be one of our last times they want to run and play together at the park?

I tell you this because I think its important to recognize the moments in our lives when change is occurring. And furthermore, our feelings about those changes and any grief that rises up. It was rising up in me. But not in a terrible wave, just that gentle soaking of the feet in the tide… here it comes, it’s happening again. The beauty and the sorrow holding hands.

Sometimes the waves are bigger, and I really miss my babies. It’s just part of being a Mom. The Summer before last, (when we all stayed in) I made my first ever quilt. And not just any quilt. I used the saved and cherished baby clothes for this project, so that whenever I miss my babies, I can get it out and have something to hold on to.

For me, this was healing and it’s own sort of grief. It’s an acknowledgement of what was, and that beautiful entanglement joy and sorrow share. I couldn’t have what I have without the waves. The fading of the beauty is sometimes what makes it so beautiful, the simple fact that it won’t last forever.

So what does this have to do with the enneagram?

Learning your enneagram number is only the beginning. It is both beauty and sorrow to see plainly who you are. And some things need to pass away for other things to bloom and grow. Once you see the patterns that have brought you to where you are today, it’s time for a wave of change in your life.

You find the path of growth through being honest with yourself. Embracing what has been your life, and looking forward to what you want for yourself comes next.

The enneagram is a great example of this beauty and sorrow phenomenon. It is always present, always cyclical, always moving. Recognizing a truth in ourselves that needs to change leads us to a wave of change that allows for that part of us to fade away. Moving into new patterns is another wave we catch.

It is my hope that you can truly see yourself in beauty and see the things in your life that aren’t healthy anymore. Let go of those things that aren’t serving the kind of life you desire.

Embrace the patterns of beauty and sorrow as they show up in your life and spread inspiration as you travel this journey.

Grab this overview of all 9 enneagram types below:

I think you’re really going to love this packet! It includes all the little things about each type in an easy to follow, and creative layout. In one page for each type, you will get a snapshot of the type’s core fears, desires, weaknesses, their longings, what they look like at their worst and their best, and even some tips on how to love this type. Check it out!

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Love. What is it?

What is love? Some would say love is caring deeply about someone. Others might say, putting the needs, desires and wants of others above your own is really what love means. What if love is attention? Then we have to ask, what is attention?

The American Heritage Dictionary defines it this way:

  1. The act of close or careful observing or listening.
  2. The ability or power to keep the mind on something; the ability to concentrate.
  3. Notice or observation.

Sounds a lot like the way we think of love doesn’t it? What if we took this idea and applied it to the enneagram types and their specific needs? Many of the types are gifted naturally at these skills of careful observing, listening, concentrating on what or who is in front of them. If this isn’t in your natural skill set, these are actually things you can get better at.

Since everyone desires attention and careful observation in different ways, I have written a love letter to each enneagram type expressing what they specifically would like to hear. What better way to let someone know how much you care than by giving them a love letter?

Right now you can grab the bundle!

This includes love letters to ALL 9 types! And at the special price of only $25

Love. What is it?

Click the image above or the button below to get your love letter bundle:

Remember to give those around you the care and attention they deserve… it really does show the love they crave. Find out what message they need to hear from you. Spend time this week expressing your love in all the ways you can!

Positivity really can change the world! It truly has a ripple affect!

Thanks for reading, and keep on living life inspired.

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What does community really mean?

I feel like I can’t talk enough about community. We need to slow down and get better at loving the people around us. In a time when we are desperate to connect with each other, most of us are connecting only with our devices. Why aren’t we better at being in community? And what does community really mean?

Let’s get a little nerdy, just for a minute and talk about meaning. I love words and finding out their sources and depth of meaning. So, the word “community,” comes from the Latin communitas. Comm, meaning collectively, all of us, or in association with. And unitas, meaning obligated to, responsible for.

Knowing the meaning of this Latin root makes an impact on how we might view community. It helps us define community in more real terms than simply saying, all of us that are here, or us together makes community. What this definition implies is that there is more to community than simply a group of people.

It’s that last part of the word that packs a punch. Unitas- what are we as a group, obligated to, or responsible for, collectively? What drives us, as one? Answering those two questions will refine how you feel about your community and what it really means to be a part of one.

what does community really mean?

Are we working together toward a common goal? That’s community! Are we responsible to and for each other? That’s community! And reminding ourselves to check in with how highly we are regarding our community has never been so important.

It’s easy to take groups and associations for granted when you aren’t really invested in them. I would say then, you are not in community in those scenarios. The only way to feel like part of the community, is to become a real part. Take ownership, claim it as your place, and then walk along side people toward that common goal.

What else can we do to get better at living in community?

Self-evaluation

It’s always best to start with self-evaluation. You can’t change anyone else, but you do have the power over your own goals, intentions, and behaviors. So, take a look. What are your goals? Are they in line with your current community?

Safety

Another element that is key to a great community is feeling safe and secure within that community. You should be able to be completely you, show up with all of your rawness and authenticity and find love and acceptance. Communities are places of support and safety. this is what binds groups together as they walk toward their goals as one.

So be that kind of person for others in your community. Live with openness and compassion, avoiding judgement and comparing. This doesn’t mean that you can’t speak your mind, only that respect is what makes a place feel supportive.

Reciprocity

The natural give and take of community is a beautiful thing. This adds to the big picture of what it really means to be in community. You are accepted, nurtured, and loved, others can expect the same from you. You give of your time and resources, you can expect others to give of theirs as well.

I hope this gave you some new insight into the meaning of community. It is always my hope to spread positivity and inspiration. Take time today to really invest in your true community and reap the benefits!

Check out this loving the 9 types cheatsheet below. This can help you love the community you’re in by quickly seeing what they need most! Click the button below to grab the PDF printable.

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Is Your Enneagram Passion Controlling you?

You might not know it, but deep in your core you have a passion that drives all other things in your life. You may even think you have control over it. But I’ve got news for you, this passion will be your life’s struggle. Today I want to talk about the passion of the enneagram types and why our inner passion has control over us.

Do you know what your passion is?

Let’s start there. Passion is usually associated with drive and positive asperations. This is not what we are talking about here. The passions of the enneagram types are more like a vice. That thing which causes us to repeat downward spirals and negative patterns of behavior.

Your passion is your subconscious, underlying motivation for why and even how you do everything. Most likely, you are unaware of it until you really start doing work on yourself.

This is the part of learning the enneagram that makes us a bit uncomfortable because seeing our “dark side,” not only makes us feel vulnerable, but also a bit embarrassed.

However, seeing this side of the types will help you identify your type if you were struggling before. It’s like direct honesty cutting through all the fluff and revealing your deepest darkest secret.

Take a look at the passions below. Does yours make you want to run and hide, or disown it altogether? Most people have that reaction.

The passions of the 9 types

Type 1: Anger

Type 2: Pride

Type 3: Deceit

Type 4: Envy

Type 5: Avarice

Type 6: Fear

Type 7: gluttony

Type 8: Lust

Type 9: Sloth

enneagram passions

Virtues

We can’t talk about passions without also talking about virtues. I like to think of the virtue as what each type was before the world told them who they should be. Before the patterns were learned, the defense mechanisms, the baggage, or lack of boundaries given, each type would have looked like their virtue.

The way it is though, we have to work hard to reach our virtues. They are there buried inside us somewhere, but they aren’t always easy to dig up and it takes boundless effort. The goal in learning the enneagram is to turn from passion to virtue a little here and a little there. With Intentional awareness, beginning to notice you have it in you to silence one and step forward in to another.

Most of us will see our virtue come out when life is good and we are doing well. We move into our strength number on the enneagram, which is usually where the virtue can shine easily.

For example: When a type one moves to the high side of seven, they have let go of perfecting things, they feel calm and content, some might even say serene.

Take a look at the virtues below, they will have the opposite affect of reading your passion. Can you just imagine a world where everyone reached this full potential… the best version of themselves? Think of being surrounded by these powerful words- all such gifts and forces of good.

So what are the virtues?

Type 1: Serenity

Type 2: Humility

Type 3: Honesty

Type 4:Contentment

Type 5: Generosity

Type 6: Courage

Type 7: Sobriety

Type 8: Innocence

Type 9: Action

passions of the 9 types

I hope you enjoyed reading about the 9 types and the passions and virtues. It is so fascinating to me!

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Want an overview packet of all 9 types?

Each page includes the basics on everything for each type.

Here’s what they look like: